• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 10 subscribers
  • Views 1424 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Relationship unwritten rules, not sure what this means?

NAS62142

I’ve been talking to someone on social media for a while (they are also autistic) and I almost certainly know that I am romantically attracted to them. I’ve been afraid to tell them exactly how I feel and ask them out on a date (they don’t follow me online so I’ve been scared as to if they even like me, but the person is always nice when we speak and gives me autism-related advice when something in my life is tough or I have a question). However, I tried being more subtle and asked if they would be open to a relationship with the right person of if they are happy single. They replied saying they are happily single, but then they still say like “I’m a mood”. when I talk about wanting a partner and say they want to go on more dates themselves. Also, I called them cute ones and they said thanks - Not sure if that’s a good thing or not?!

The long and short of it is, When they say they are happily single in this context, do you think they mean they are opposed to any dates and relationships with anyone at the moment, or could they be, but they’re just not particularly bothered or focused on it?

Parents

  • The only way of finding out is to ask them directly. If you can accept them saying they do not want to see you romantically, then you have nothing to lose. Being autistic, I found wearing your heart on your sleeve and being very open about your feelings for someone, and chancing rejection, was the only way anything happened. I'm afraid, being subtle as an autistic does not work, as we really have trouble knowing the rules of flirtation.

Reply

  • The only way of finding out is to ask them directly. If you can accept them saying they do not want to see you romantically, then you have nothing to lose. Being autistic, I found wearing your heart on your sleeve and being very open about your feelings for someone, and chancing rejection, was the only way anything happened. I'm afraid, being subtle as an autistic does not work, as we really have trouble knowing the rules of flirtation.

Children
  • in reply to Martin

    Ditto. And, of course, this person is autistic too. They may never work out that you like them that way unless you say so explicitly.

    In these situations we just have to be prepared for the fact that stating what we feel could either lead to a happy ending or meet with rejection. It's a risk, but the rejection can generally be dealt with with dignity.