Mental Problems

I'm OK at the moment, thanks.  I hope you get bereavement support soon.  I would say that if colouring helps you, stick with it!

Thank you for your kind words and good advice. I have managed to sit in my garden for a short time today, while the neighbours were out. I did not want to deflect the discussion on to me, but I hope that you can gain some comfort from knowing others are also facing similar difficulties. I know that does help me, even though I would not wish suffering on anyone.

I have encountered difficult times in my life in the past, where I have found it almost impossible to go out. However I got through those and felt happy again. I am sure I'll eventually get through this too. It is often hard, when we are feeling down, to see the brightness at the other end of the tunnel.

Hi Anna, thank you. Thank you for the link I'll have a look and see if there's anything there that might be good for me. Xx

I'm sorry about your depression. I hope your ok at the moment x

I've been colouring lately and I guess that's been kind of fun just keeping me busy from all the pain and stress. 

Yes I am on the waiting list for bereavement support but I don't know how long it will be.

Xx

Hello. Thank you for your reply. I never coped well with death, lost my step dad who I wasn't especially close with but it still affected me on a huge scale and took a long time to get over. I knew it would be worse when mum died and it has been I've never felt so bad as I do at the moment. It's the change, the increase in pressure, just everything has gone crazy and I feel horrible. My GP has put me on a list for grief counseling and support but I think there's a waiting list so I don't know when I'll get this. Yesterday though I did read about Cruse online which is a bereavement support so I did use that and found it helped me feel better.

I used to creative writing so I might try and start again but last time I tried I couldn't write anything my mind was blank but maybe it'll be different next time.

Thank you for your tips and advice for the anxiety. I will defos try this in future. I was sitting in my garden just to get some air and get some peace but the heat has kept me inside this week. Anxiety is a big problem for me I've had it since school which isn't that long ago I guess but since it's come it's never gone again like an unwanted guest I can't get rid off. But thanks I'll try your tips and that may help me out.

Thanks I will try to do this for mum most of all xx

You are right mental health services aren't for people with autism but don't worry you can do this. A lot of people here have shown me that I can as well and so can you.

When I have periods where I can't bring myself to go out I start of small by going out in the garden for five mins and then walking to the gate, stay there for five mins. Each day I'll go a little further until I'm properly out again. Gradually it's get easier. If you want to and when you feel ready try this, I think you'll find it helps you hopefully.

It's hard losing your mum. I'm still struggling with this massively but I will say try not to worry. Focus on today right now and enjoy every second you have with your mum. These are precious memories and times you don't want to spend them worrying.

I'm already finding a lot of comfort here. Thank you for your kindness xx

Thank you. I'm going to stay here, try and post on more discussions. I think it will do me good.

Thank you Desmond xx

That's a really good saying. I'm going to remember that.

Hi thank you. I'm sorry your son struggles. I've been trying to continue my fav things but have no drive or interest at the moment. Before the heat set in I was sat in the garden on my fav bench.

Thank you. I think maybe it will take some time but I'm sure I can get through it the other day I was just feeling a bit low. Probs the heat not helping.

Nice to meet you I Sperg.

Hi Selena , I'm sorry for your loss. I understand you're going through a really challenging time, and if you feel that you might need some further support with your mental health, you can find advice and information on how to go about seeking help, including links to other resources and details of helplines and listening support services, here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help. 

All the best,

Anna Mod

I'm sorry to hear this.  I haven't been bereaved, but I suffered from depression for a long time.  It *is* possible for things to get better.  Please don't give up hope.  Is there anything at all you enjoy at the moment?

Is bereavement counselling an option for you?  I have also felt that mental health teams are often not very helpful.

Sorry for your loss, that is bound to affect you by itself - if you haven't already then read about grief and find support for that as more appropriate then just mental health services that are more about crisis than long-term issues.  They can be overwhelmed  too, important to accept that, and also they aren't autism health services as the NHS doesn't offer that, so really reaching out to other autistic people is more appropriate for issues related to your autism and much more likely to be understood, even if not able to offer any solutions. There are autistic peer support/mentors if it helps offline as its private/difficult.   

Depression can make it hard to enjoy things, but try and do them anyway without thinking about things, as for now its more important to have a break from thinking/feeling low than trying to enjoy thing or feel good which you can work towards but will take time.

The best advice for anxiety is to face it, but just going out without learning to manage thoughts and anxiety may not work or make things worse, overwhelmed.  Learning to manage anxiety better first will help, but also learning to self-mentor yourself before/during/after - if you tell yourself you can cope with going out, cope whilst out, then that reduces anxiety and you also let your brain know you are in control more, and that will calm it and it will feed you less worrying things and more useful things.  Also, go out and choose what you think about, think about what you want to do, buy, etc., Its also important to get back and not analyse what happened, only focus on what you might need to do better, things that might help us next time.

Meltdowns/shutdowns are responses to too much anxiety and stresses, so reducing those will make them less likely, and also try not to think 'i can't cope' and use 'this is difficult right now, but i am coping as best I can I and want to cope better '.

I doubt your mum would want you to suffer like this, so work on things for her as well as yourself. 

Welcome to the autistic community. You will find a lot of understanding on here.

I am sorry about your mum. Losing mine is one of my biggest fears. I find life difficult now and can imagine myself in a similar position to you if I were to lose her.

My anxiety and sensitivity to noise have become even worse than usual lately. I can totally relate to going out resulting in meltdown and feeling unable to cope. I've hardly left the house at all for more than a month and I know I can't go on like this indefinitely. I will undoubtedly sink further into depression if I continue to stay in all the time.

Unfortunately I have come to the realisation that mental health services are not designed or able to help autistic people. Their training on autism is woefully inadequate at best, non existent at worst. They're not even willing to make reasonable adjustments, such as allowing contact by methods other than phone. I think that there should be specialist mental health support available for autistic people.

I do find comfort in being on here and I hope that you do too.

We understand for sure, I think nearly everyone on the spectrum feels this way at one point or another.

Talking here is a good step in the right direction we'll stand with you during the hard times. I would avoid the mental health teams and doctors, from my own experience and hearing others they always make it worse.

And I'm sorry about your mum. Hang in there lovely.

On this journey with you.

The system failed us, but we shouldn't fail ourselves. Once you see a way out of dependency, you will be free. 

I'm no expert, but my son has mental health problems with ASD. Try and focus on your favourite things and try and distract yourself with anything you can when you feel low. Anything that will help you through. I really hope you can get some help. You deserve it and you are not alone. 

Of course we do!!

It sucks. 

The good thing is, that it can often be fixed, but I do have doubts that "mental health teams" actually do much "fixing".. 

You'll get some good advice here, but like all things with Autism, it comes when it comes...

Welcome to the forum!