I know phrasing it like that isn’t healthy, but it’s how I feel. I feel like I’m always on edge 24/7. I’m always thinking that people are looking at me when they’re not, or that someone hates me or look at me like I’m not worth much. Here’s the thing, I know that’s not the case, I’m not trying to beat myself down, it’s that my brain won’t let go of those thoughts. I used to think when I was younger that I had a severe learning disability and the only reason people hung out with me was because they felt bad and not because they actually wanted to be my friend. I had a paranoid delusion where I thought one of my neighbors that invited me and my family over for dinner poisoned our food and that we would die. It was beef stroganoff, I refused to eat it because of that thought. I know I’m ranting but I really wanna know what’s wrong with me. For context the most effective drug I’ve taken is for sleep and it’s Seroquel. It’s the one I see the most effects from
