So anytime I screw up anything even minor, like I make dinner for me and my wife and she’s like wow this is delicious I love it, all I taste is “I didn’t add enough pepper, too many tomatoes, this could have been pulled a minute early, I suck I am terrible, I’m not a good cook, I’m the worst in the world”
That’s just an example but it’s like that for pretty much everything, how do I stop this? Especially when I upset my wife by doing something on accident, I know she isn’t angry or mad at me, but I know I screwed up and hate myself for even days after I feel like I’m a failure. I don’t talk about it or how I feel that way with her because I don’t want to keep her from feeling like she can talk with me about her emotions. Because if every time she was upset I talked about how upset I was and felt like a failure well that’s clearly not healthy for a relationship. I seemly take and feel responsibility for any and all inconveniences that occur to my loved ones and always think about how I could have done better or prevented a negative outcome and how if I was just a better person I could make things great. It’s like being 99% on all the time isn’t good enough I need to be perfect.
How do I stop being like this? Feeling responsibly for everyone’s happiness and well being even when something is outside of my control? I’m constantly over sympathizing (or empathizing?) for everyone in my life. I keep a lot of it to myself because I feel like it would be annoying but it tears me apart inside. And so much I feel like if I wasn’t around anymore I wouldn’t be responsible for it all and I wouldn’t feel this way all the time and I wouldn’t be around to possibly let anyone I love down.
