Up until a week ago, I had been involved in what can best be described as an on/off friendship/relationship with a fellow autistic that I'd 'met' online. I won't explain the whole story because I've previously posted bits and pieces elsewhere on this site.
A few weeks ago I had been led to believe it was all over, but I had really been struggling to get a sense of closure. I had questions that I felt I needed answers to. As this person had had a habit of making incorrect assumptions and accusations, I had wanted to know what had given them cause to think those things about me, so had sent them an e-mail. They had sent back what I felt was a rather hurtful and angry-sounding reply.
Twenty-four hours later, I had then received a profusely apologetic e-mail, admitting to the fact that they had been wasted on booze and prescription medication when they had sent their previous e-mail. Throughout our on/off friendship, there had been talk of us meeting properly. In their e-mail, this person had said that although they liked me, they didn't feel it would be fair on me to meet them until they had sorted themselves out (they had issues relating to their mental health). From my perspective, this sounded perfectly reasonable and sensible. Within an hour, this person had then changed their tune. They had decided that they would be visiting me later that week (Friday 17th June). I had concerns that they were possibly putting too much pressure on themselves, but didn't want to stand in their way if that was what they genuinely wanted to do.
As I knew this person would need details for their Sat Nav, I had assumed I'd hear from them prior to their planned visit. I heard nothing until the early hours of 17th June, when I received several bizarre e-mails, which made me inclined to think they were possibly wasted. There had been no mention of the visit, and to be honest I'd had a hunch that it wouldn't be happening.
The following day (18th June), I had received an e-mail apologising for the bizarre e-mails (they had been wasted). There was no mention of the visit that hadn't taken place. I had then received a text message asking what I thought about them visiting on Monday 20th June, which was followed by a text message asking if I fancied talking on the phone... To give them 30 minutes to charge up their mobile, and then they would call me. I waited the 30 minutes and no phone call. Thinking that maybe their mobile needed more time to charge, I waited a while longer. Still no phone call, so as I was feeling somewhat irritated by then I took myself off to have a bath to try to unwind.
As one might expect, I was beginning to wonder what the heck was going on. On 21st June, I had received a text message asking if they could phone, but as my mobile had been out of earshot there had been a delay in me responding (yes, it was fine for them to call). There was no phone call. The following day (22nd June), I had received an e-mail stating they had injured themselves on 18th June (presumably when they had been charging their mobile) and hadn't felt like talking to anyone. Considering they had asked if they could phone the previous day, it just wasn't adding up for me. Anyway, they had said they would phone that evening, but it came as no surprise when they didn't.
Throughout this on/off friendship, my son had been having concerns that this person wasn't quite as genuine as they had been making themselves out to be. He had read numerous exchanges between myself and this person. On 23rd June, I had received an e-mail that greatly worried my son. The tone of it had caused me to feel threatened and intimidated, and the following day I had sent a text message to this person saying so. They responded by texting back that I was a drama queen. This was followed with an e-mail, stating they felt we had lost the connection we used to have.
My son decided to take matters into his own hands, so ended up phoning this person... not to have a go at them, I might add. Without going into details, my son and this person had both been through traumatic experiences in the past that had left them feeling paranoid and mistrusting of females. Despite my son having concerns, he wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt. He thought that speaking man-to-man with someone who understood those issues might help this person. Also, because my son is protective of me, and knows me better than anyone else, he also wanted this person to know how completely untrue their accusations about me were. My son had then told this person that they were more than welcome to visit if they wanted to and that if they had any problems or concerns, to get in touch with either me or my son.
The conversation had concluded with this person telling my son that they needed a couple of days to sort out some new tyres for their car, but that they would visit on 29th June. This had included an offer of treating us to a takeaway delivery. A couple of hours later, I had texted this person asking if it would be OK for us to talk the following day. There was no response. There are no prizes for guessing that this person didn't visit. I've heard nothing from them since the e-mail and text message they had sent on 23rd June, so am working on the assumption that I have probably been blocked.
For as long as I had 'known' this person, they had told me repeatedly that they didn't lie, didn't play games, and that I could trust them. Well, actions speak louder than words. What frustrates me is that in addition to me feeling like I had been strung along and given the run-around, this person had also lied to my son. To be fair though, neither of us had believed this person actually had any intention of visiting on the 29th. Another thing... this person had told my son during their conversation that the drawback with meeting people online is that it's impossible to know if someone is genuine. Can the words one reads on a screen, or the voice one hears on the phone be trusted. What this person didn't quite seem to appreciate was that I was in exactly the same boat.
