Teenage Anxiety and panic attacks

Hi, It can be a huge change to find out that you are autistic- I am in a similar situation at the moment and I recently found out that I am probably autistic- I am a bit older though (25). I personally wish that I had known sooner as I think that information would have been very useful and could have helped me better deal with some of the challenges I am facing- it can be very exhausting and frustrating to wonder why things that seem so easy for others, are so hard for yourself: Over time I started blaming myself, feeling like I didn't try hard enough. So I think what helps is to think of "knowing that you are autistic" as a useful piece of information that can help you better understand and accept yourself and also possibly better deal with some of the challenges you are facing. For me it was a huge relief to finally have an explanation for my differences. Since realising that I am autistic, I have learnt so much about myself.  Learning about autism and talking to other autistic people and reading about their experiences, helped me see some of my own patterns, made me more self-aware and I am becoming aware of new strategies to try and deal with problems. 

Afterall, we are still the 'same person' before and after the realisation that we might be autistic. I do struggle to come to terms with it at times as well so I can relate to how confusing and difficult it can be. At times I struggle with impostor syndrome (as I am still awaiting official diagnosis) and realising that I am autistic has made me more aware of my differences and struggles in many ways, which can be hard to deal with. It's not that I have all of a sudden become less competent in social situations etc but I am more aware of my struggles and that I am missing so many cues. Sometimes it makes me feel even weirder and more different. I think with time I will get more used to the idea and these feelings will quieten down hopefully. 

You say that your son is worried because so many autistic people are suffering with bad anxiety etc. From what I can tell it is true that a larger proportion of autistic people do struggle with anxiety but that in no way means that all of us do and that we cannot develop good strategies to cope and live happy lives. Plenty of neurotypical people struggle too. I don't know if it helps but I know quite a few autistic people that are leading very happy lives (2 of my autistic friends are currently doing PhDs)- Most of my friends are autistic (I only found out that they are when mentioning the possibility of my own autism)- What is noticeable is that for many of them it really helped them when they realised that they were autistic so that they could better take care of their needs. 

It's a horrible feeling to feel so trapped- I suffer from that too and it is especially difficult when you think the source of your challenges is something you cannot change (like being autistic)- but it is just not true that there is nothing we can change. And the information about the possibility of autism can be so so useful to move forward and to take steps that can make things better. At least this is what I try to tell myself. 

I really hope your son feels less trapped soon and will feel more hopeful soon and maybe realise that the diagnosis could in fact be very useful information. It's so hard and confusing. I'm sending him lots of strength!! 

I forgot to mention, what is really helping me is to talk to other autistic people (for example on this forum)- it is so nice to talk to people on this forum :). 

Hi, It can be a huge change to find out that you are autistic- I am in a similar situation at the moment and I recently found out that I am probably autistic- I am a bit older though (25). I personally wish that I had known sooner as I think that information would have been very useful and could have helped me better deal with some of the challenges I am facing- it can be very exhausting and frustrating to wonder why things that seem so easy for others, are so hard for yourself: Over time I started blaming myself, feeling like I didn't try hard enough. So I think what helps is to think of "knowing that you are autistic" as a useful piece of information that can help you better understand and accept yourself and also possibly better deal with some of the challenges you are facing. For me it was a huge relief to finally have an explanation for my differences. Since realising that I am autistic, I have learnt so much about myself.  Learning about autism and talking to other autistic people and reading about their experiences, helped me see some of my own patterns, made me more self-aware and I am becoming aware of new strategies to try and deal with problems. 

Afterall, we are still the 'same person' before and after the realisation that we might be autistic. I do struggle to come to terms with it at times as well so I can relate to how confusing and difficult it can be. At times I struggle with impostor syndrome (as I am still awaiting official diagnosis) and realising that I am autistic has made me more aware of my differences and struggles in many ways, which can be hard to deal with. It's not that I have all of a sudden become less competent in social situations etc but I am more aware of my struggles and that I am missing so many cues. Sometimes it makes me feel even weirder and more different. I think with time I will get more used to the idea and these feelings will quieten down hopefully. 

You say that your son is worried because so many autistic people are suffering with bad anxiety etc. From what I can tell it is true that a larger proportion of autistic people do struggle with anxiety but that in no way means that all of us do and that we cannot develop good strategies to cope and live happy lives. Plenty of neurotypical people struggle too. I don't know if it helps but I know quite a few autistic people that are leading very happy lives (2 of my autistic friends are currently doing PhDs)- Most of my friends are autistic (I only found out that they are when mentioning the possibility of my own autism)- What is noticeable is that for many of them it really helped them when they realised that they were autistic so that they could better take care of their needs. 

It's a horrible feeling to feel so trapped- I suffer from that too and it is especially difficult when you think the source of your challenges is something you cannot change (like being autistic)- but it is just not true that there is nothing we can change. And the information about the possibility of autism can be so so useful to move forward and to take steps that can make things better. At least this is what I try to tell myself. 

I really hope your son feels less trapped soon and will feel more hopeful soon and maybe realise that the diagnosis could in fact be very useful information. It's so hard and confusing. I'm sending him lots of strength!! 

I forgot to mention, what is really helping me is to talk to other autistic people (for example on this forum)- it is so nice to talk to people on this forum :). 

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s such early days for us and we have so much to learn and adjust to.  Any advice and experiences are really helpful.

I wish you well.