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Bereavement and grief

CFen

My brother died suddenly in December, and it's been a really really tough time.

When he passed, I'd been in a new job for just six weeks. I've found the last few months to be overwhelming and I've now had to take some time off work sick. The time off has made me realise that one of the reasons I was exhausted all the time is that my executive function, which is usually okay-ish, has been severely affected by the grief. I am constantly distracted, unable to start tasks, really struggle to process information, and really forgetful. My brain is like a conveyor belt of constantly passing thoughts, none of which I can grab hold of and do anything with.

Has anyone been through similar, and have coping strategies and/or ways to improve executive function whilst under this much stress.

Thanks in advance!

  • Losing a sybling is surreal.

    The thing is - life is still going on. I had full time of covid pandemic to cope, but it has not gone away anyway. Life only throws more things at you and that sometimes helps to have mind distracted onto something else.

    I had concentration issues way before, but now I am pondering if shrooms might help(because they are binding brain regions - exactly the same as ASD brains are wired differently from brains of NT). Sadly that is outlawed in UK(and most of the world):

    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-022-01744-z

  • I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. The loss of a sibling can be the hardest to deal with. 3 years ago I  lost my sister and my brother within 14 days. Overwhelming doesn't come close to describing the tumult emotions. This also came at a time of stress, moving house to mention just one. At the time and for many months afterwards my brain went into overdrive and I had an inability to express feelings and emotions in an  comprehensible way. I  have only very recently been diagnosed with autism but on reflection it explains many of my reactions. Many of my family misinterpreted my communications. I believe if I had been aware of my autism then everyone would have better understood my reaction and would have been more supportive. Your description of a conveyor belt of costly passing thoughts so clearly sums it up. I  also say my brain never stops. My coping  mechanism is to keep busy, do things that need concentration which helps focus the  brain on just one thing. I  personally do crafty things. 

  • CFen said:
    Has anyone been through similar, and have coping strategies and/or ways to improve executive function whilst under this much stress.

    Yes. And all I can say is you just have to give yourself time. Good friends help. If you let them drag you out of the house and keep you distracted for a few hours. But at the end of the day its just time.

  • Firstly, it sounds really hard for you to deal with but it depends on the individual and how much this person meant to you in my opinion. 

    For example I live in a supported accommodation to support young people with Autism and other complex / physical / emotional challenging behaviours so the end of the day  I have lived in this supported accommodation for 2 coming onto 3 years now. We recently had a girl that lived here named Sue she passed away in her sleep (was a shock for me) I wasn't expecting this but it happened? it took a few months to get them to find the reason for her death. I found out eventually it was from alcohol drinking. and some level of alcohol misuse my supported accommodation boss informed me of it.