I am a 19 year old who was diagnosed with ASD at the end of 2019, just before the 2020 lockdown.
Being told I have ASD was a shock, and something I wasn't able to fully understand or deal with. Due to the pandemic coming right after my diagnosis I never really took the time to understand myself or what it actually meant, making life after lockdown very difficult.
Due to lockdown, I found I became very dependent on being at home, it became a huge comfort to me and somewhere I didn't want to leave for long periods of time.
Fast forward to the present day, I now have a huge inability to cope with change particularly when staying in places that are not my home. My house and my home town have become such a comfort that I have developed a crippling wave of anxiety when it comes to going on holiday or moving away.
In the summer of 2021, I went away to Devon with my friends as an end of year celebration. However, when I arrived I was faced with a huge amount of anxiety that took over my whole body, resulting in me vomiting, crying and hyperventilating. Which wasn't ideal considering I was with my friends. This was all brought on because my surrounding had changed and I was no longer in the comfort of my own home with my parents there for support. I was suddenly thrown into a situation I hadn't mentally prepared for and as a result my body decided to simply shut down.
This was the first time I had truly experiences such a high level of anxiety, and since then it has progressively gotten worse. The same bodily reaction and mentally came over me when I tried to go to Paris in November 2021, even though I was with my sister who supported me through it all. I couldn't even get in the taxi to the airport without vomiting.
This is something I am now living in fear of, making it very difficult of progress further in life and change out of my current habits. I have had to turn down offers to travel with my friends, offers to simply visit my friends at university because of the anxiety that comes with staying somewhere overnight that isn't my home.
It has lead me to feel very isolated and alone as, from the outside nobody would suspect I suffered with such crippling anxiety as I come from quite a sociable circle of friends.
