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Guilt and work

Weazelbeast

Put bluntly im struggling to cope. I am told its ok not to work but cant get past the guilt. People say its ok and to chill but i feel like ive wasted my life. My family say they love me and to be happy but i cant seem to accept not having lives the obligations of adulthood. Anyone here not work but is supported or partner to someone with asd who doesnt...how is it

Parents

  • Yes, Feeling guilty is okay. But not working for a while is the possible route sometimes to get to the situation where you may be able to access employment again.

    I am in the same situation where people are telling me that it is perfectly acceptable for me to never work again and I also have different people telling me the complete opposite and the guilt, frustration and anxiety sometimes just overwhelms me.

    It's okay to take a break, everybody has episodes in life where they re evaluate their life. It's not just you that are having these struggles. The thing about being disabled is that it's okay not to take the first poorly operated workplace that comes along, trust me I've have been damaged several times because of the mentality of "work is work" that most people peddle. 

    I am going to put this bluntly, If your partners is still with you their something their, You may not work but you contribute to your relationship in others weather it be cooking, cleaning, providing emotional support and comfort. If you anxious about your relationship talk to your significant other openly on honestly.

    If your not ready for work, but you want move toward your goals just make small changes. go for a walk every morning or join a club. it those who connect with other who's dreams will grow. you may make a friend who can advise you in the right direction or open an opptunity. You could even volunteer at something you enjoy doing or explore what you enjoy doing.

    the school years is ending. it might be worth seeing if their is any adult courses at the local college. I am taking my GCSE's and they offer other things like oriental cooking classes.    

  • in reply to Blue

    I hate being seen as the benefit person...if i could i would happily never work but it feels wrong to place my life on others whodont get that choice. Wife is only upset because of how im breaking myself to pieces over this...i see her as nieve but she says its ok

  • in reply to Weazelbeast

    Your wife obviously cares about you and she wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t value you as a person. Her attitude and the fact that she is still with you shows that she accepts you as you are. 
    You’re NOT ‘the benefit person’ - you are so much more than that. Don’t allow that to define you. You are a loving husband (I presume!)  - that’s I’m sure what matters to your wife most. 

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  • in reply to Weazelbeast

    Your wife obviously cares about you and she wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t value you as a person. Her attitude and the fact that she is still with you shows that she accepts you as you are. 
    You’re NOT ‘the benefit person’ - you are so much more than that. Don’t allow that to define you. You are a loving husband (I presume!)  - that’s I’m sure what matters to your wife most. 

Children