Guilt and work

I am in a similar situation to you. I have been in and out of work for most of my life and, realisitically, I am not fit to work. I have put myself and my ASD through hell over the years trying to keep working. Over Christmas I had a full breakdwon and decided to give up work completely and sign on for PIP and a UC work capibility assessment. Trouble is I need to be active and I got so bored and depressed at home I went back to work and now the whole cycle has started again and I cant cope. 

I honestly dont know what to do and I think its natural for you to feel guilt about not working. I can certainly understand the wasting your life feeling. I look at other people my age who have travelled and seen the world and achieved things in their career etc and I feel the same. I think it is important not to measure ourselves against other people though because they are not like us. They dont measure themselves against ASD people after all. We are measuring ourselves against the wrong people

You have not wasted your life. You have done the best you can for you and you should not feel guilty. Little things for normal people are huge mountains for us. It has actually taken more strength and courage for you to do what you have done in life than it does for "normal" people to earn loads of money and run companies etc 

Hold your head up high, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about 

I am in a similar situation to you. I have been in and out of work for most of my life and, realisitically, I am not fit to work. I have put myself and my ASD through hell over the years trying to keep working. Over Christmas I had a full breakdwon and decided to give up work completely and sign on for PIP and a UC work capibility assessment. Trouble is I need to be active and I got so bored and depressed at home I went back to work and now the whole cycle has started again and I cant cope. 

I honestly dont know what to do and I think its natural for you to feel guilt about not working. I can certainly understand the wasting your life feeling. I look at other people my age who have travelled and seen the world and achieved things in their career etc and I feel the same. I think it is important not to measure ourselves against other people though because they are not like us. They dont measure themselves against ASD people after all. We are measuring ourselves against the wrong people

You have not wasted your life. You have done the best you can for you and you should not feel guilty. Little things for normal people are huge mountains for us. It has actually taken more strength and courage for you to do what you have done in life than it does for "normal" people to earn loads of money and run companies etc 

Hold your head up high, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about 

I agree with what you’ve written here Billy. It’s not helpful to measure ourselves against the lives and achievements of people who are not autistic. You’ve done the best you can - it’s not easy and you shouldn’t feel guilty. Blaming yourself will only made you feel worse and is worse also for the people around you - your family for example. It’s counter productive to blame yourself and feel guilty. Instead feel good about the things that you HAVE achieved - however small. Sometimes even just getting dressed is an achievement for someone who is struggling with their mental health. Be kind to yourself, that will help build your confidence which will help you to achieve more of the things you want to - even if they are just small, personal goals.
Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, love the person you are x