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Feelings of loneliness

Uklou222

I’ve always been a very insular person, I like to do things on my own which means that the majority of my time is spent alone.. it’s just that I have such overwhelming feelings of loneliness. I know that autistic people can have relationships, but I just feel that it’s not going to happen for me. I find it very hard to even talk to the opposite sex, so I’ve found that online ‘friendships’ are the only way I can feel a real connection with someone.

After a very intense and unhealthy online ‘friendship’ ended nearly two years ago, I still look back and get upset over how things ended and the fact that I just feel like I have no-one. Is this a typical autism thing? I feel that I just can’t let it go, whether that’s because I miss the person, or just the connection we had, and the fact that I felt wanted and that I had someone I could turn to… these days I feel like I have no-one and it’s so lonely. I sit here and think that day to day, I want to be alone, but I also don’t… I don’t know if that even makes sense.

I’m not really sure where this post is going, I’m just hoping that maybe I’m not alone?

  • Well, 50% of autistic people have ADHD, who can be very overhyped up about socialization.

    I would say, that 2 years long online friendship was not normal for relationship and that logicaly ended. It would be illogical, if it continued as it was before.

    I feel like the main issue with autistic people is lacking social circle of friends and extending from there.

  • I can't speak much for friendships as I still struggle with them, but in terms of relationships I feel the same way – I'm an insular person, and I personally can't see a relationship ever working out for me. Whether or not that's true is irrelevant, but it made me feel awful for so many years. I resisted advice to try to enjoy being single, frustrated that I was missing out on what everyone else seemed to consider the ultimate goal.

    But I'm happier alone – I always have been. I was taking other people's aspirations and believing that they had to be mine.

    You cannot make a relationship happen, but you can be happy – with or without one. Try to focus on the benefits of being single (getting to keep my finances and spaces my own are hugely important for me) and know that you are not alone in this.

    For me, a typical relationship compromises everything that I value. It sounds to me like you may be trying to force yourself into typical relationships that don't suit your needs – if you do want to be in a relationship, I would recommend considering your needs (particularly those you cannot compromise on) and being extremely upfront with them. They are unlikely to work for most people, but you'll be much happier for it when a relationship does come along.

  • Hi,

    I strongly relate to struggling to let go of intense friendships, and to wanting and also not wanting to be alone. I also feel like I will never be in a relationship. It can be really tough. Feel free to message if you’d like to chat