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A new person everyday

NAS78717

Hi

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember but have never been suspected to be on the spectrum. I also know women/girls are often overlooked for ASD. I have had the same two friends since kindergarten (love them to pieces), but there have also been periods where we did not speak for a while. They were always considered the popular girls at my school and were also friends with other popular kids, however I never made the same connections. I always admired how sociable they were and how they always knew exactly what to say and do to be accepted with the other popular kids, however I could not fit in to SAVE MY LIFE.

Fast forward to a year after graduation, my best friend mentioned she thought I was autistic based on a handful of Tik Toks she had seen related to my “situation”, and the fact I repetitively listen to songs I like. I was taken aback because she has never mentioned anything like this before. I never denied it and just kept listening to the connections she was trying to make from my life. After a while, she said she believes she is also on the spectrum. This is where I’m conflicted.

My friend has struggled with mental health issues in the past and we share very similar traumatic experiences. Ever since she has mentioned being on the spectrum, her personality has changed quite a bit. She now is very vocal about her ASD traits and relates a lot of her behaviors, especially all of her negative ones that affect others poorly, to this spectrum. Also, I need to add, she basically outed this suspicion of me being autistic to a group of friends at a party. Ever since then, every time we hang out, there is some mention of her or my autistic behaviors which is very annoying at times.

I have been trying to meet with a therapist or psychiatrist to explain everything further and see what their perspective is, but I thought if anyone has went through a similar situation

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • Hi, sorry you are having to deal with someone like this, first of all if you do decide to identify or not as autistic, it’s totally your choice, if you do think that you could be autistic then it’s also your choice who, when and where you wish to share your condition with. I’m obviously not speaking for everyone, but it is a very personal subject  for most autistic people. Your friend is happy to be ‘loud and proud’ that fine, but she shouldn’t draw you into her views without your  consent. To be honest, I would distance myself from her and tell her to stop spreading what could be false truths. The fact you don’t keep in contact with your friends is a trait of autism but it doesn’t necessarily make you autistic. There are many other factors before anyone can draw that conclusion. I live about 2 miles from my only brother, we often don’t communicate for months at a time, we both know where the other is if we need something. Yes it is true that autistic people generally don’t or want as much from a relationship as other people want to offer. Maybe speak to your doctor or take some online tests.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

Reply

  • Hi, sorry you are having to deal with someone like this, first of all if you do decide to identify or not as autistic, it’s totally your choice, if you do think that you could be autistic then it’s also your choice who, when and where you wish to share your condition with. I’m obviously not speaking for everyone, but it is a very personal subject  for most autistic people. Your friend is happy to be ‘loud and proud’ that fine, but she shouldn’t draw you into her views without your  consent. To be honest, I would distance myself from her and tell her to stop spreading what could be false truths. The fact you don’t keep in contact with your friends is a trait of autism but it doesn’t necessarily make you autistic. There are many other factors before anyone can draw that conclusion. I live about 2 miles from my only brother, we often don’t communicate for months at a time, we both know where the other is if we need something. Yes it is true that autistic people generally don’t or want as much from a relationship as other people want to offer. Maybe speak to your doctor or take some online tests.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

Children
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