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Burnt Out

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So much has been happening in my life lately that I've got so worked up and it's burnt me out. I can hardly function. I can't sleep. Hardly eating and getting crappy suicidal thoughts rushing through my rubbish brain. My mental health is a travesty as well. So many problems which the professionals said they'd help support me with so they put me on a waiting list which I've not heard anything back from. Feels like they forgot me. I read about a lot of people with asd who as they got older their lives somehow improved, they managed to have kids and get jobs. Those are big things for anyone let alone someone with asd. But me, I just keep sinking lower and lower. I'm burnt out. Tried so hard to keep strong but I'm out of strength and energy and basically just in bed all the time crying because I'm such a failure. Ahh it sucks. I'm sure I'm not alone feeling this way but it feels like it at times. 

  • I can relate to this as I am also experiencing burnout at the moment. You are not a failure. It's good to rest and take time to recover.

    I sometimes like to think of the burnout as a 'protection mechanism' - ie viewing the burnout as a natural response to months or years of overworking, masking and struggling. This mindset helped me lessen some of the self-blaming.

    Are you able to take some time to fully rest? I was very lucky that my GP was extremely understanding and suggested I take sick leave. At first I felt worse, more deenergised than ever, crying for days on end, feeling like a failure and struggling a lot. However, after 6 weeks, though I am still struggling, I do feel more energised and I now know that what I need is time to rest, withdraw and just exist with as little outside pressure and stress as possible. Being "unproductive" (or what I view as that... because is it really unproductive if I am resting/ taking care of myself?) can be very good and healthy. I know that it might not always possible to take a full break from everything for practical reasons, but if you can it might be good. 

    So if you feel like lying in bed and resting, you are not a failure, you are probably just getting some much needed rest!

    What also helps me is some fresh air and being outside. Is there any activity you like to do? If you have the energy it might be nice to try that. Though for me when I was totally burnt-out I had very little capacity for anything and I didn't really do much... I then went through a phase of playing online board games (I recommend boardgame arena which has free boardgames), then sudokos and now as I am feeling a bit better I started learning how to play chess... 

    I can also relate to how frustrating it is to wait for help from doctors and professionals. In fact I almost ended up in hospital due to loosing so much weight as part of the burnout and I still didn't receive much help ... I really do hope that you manage to get some good support soon! I received so much good support and advice through this community. 

    I hope you feel better soon. You are not alone and you are not a failure. Sending lots of strength and energy!! 

  • Hi Sarah, I feel your pain. I was in the same boat, and my stupid brain tries takes me back there every week but I know it is not true. You can do anything you put your mind to, focus is a strength. Lack of routine is probably compounding the issue, being able to eat, sleep and function consistently is very important. So concentrate on that and build your foundation.

    Don't compare yourself to others, your life is yours to define, not those other people. I'm 100% sure you have achievements you are proud of, and if you want to do something you make the decision, not someone else.

    I have spent the past 14 months building myself up from bereavement, it is slow and it is painful but you can do it.

    Key bit is not looking at the whole problem, but doing little bits. Set times for tasks to be acted upon commit yourself to them. Like go to sleep at x time, then the following week, sleep at x time and eat dinner at y time. 

  • I agree, burnout sucks

    but it's possible to recover,

    though it feels like sisyphus's job

    for starters watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=YAFzRUFe1SY

    it'll speed up the process

    reevaluate criteria for failure, i'm sure you're using theirs

  • Hi Sarah, I’m sorry you’re feeling so down at the moment. The NHS are not currently meeting the needs of so many people that turn to them needing help. I’m sorry. I’m on a long waiting list for help too - and it leaves you feeling fairly abandoned in some ways doesn’t it? Because they’re meant to be there when you need help - but so often they’re not there at all for us. I’ve been crying a lot recently too because of trauma I experienced last year. I really think though that crying is a release for our emotions - it’s ultimately positive because of that. Let your feelings out - it’s good to let them go. 
    I know you feel like a failure but this is just a temporary state of mind and I’m sure you will feel better in time. Try to accept that at the moment you feel bad - we all do sometimes - but that these feeling won’t last forever. Things will get better - I promise. Keep a little bit of hope alive - because it’s so important to have that feeling of light on the horizon. Things will change for you - don’t give up ! 

  • I'm sorry to hear all this.  I don't think you have a "rubbish brain," just a stressed one!  And you aren't a "failure"!  It is hard when you feel like this.  I've felt like this too.  It can get better, I promise you.

    In terms of professional help, sadly the NHS does have a habit of forgetting people without reminders.  I was lucky that my Mum was able to keep phoning to make sure I was still on the waiting list.  Would anyone be able to do that for you?

    Does anything help you recharge?