• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 7 subscribers
  • Views 1130 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

denial?

NAS78058

My beautiful partner is showing some resistance to me saying I think he is autistic. I know this will be a shock to him and who likes someone telling you what you think are aspects of your person which some may say are not ideal? (not me, thats him saying it)  by all means I totally understand this. We all have aspects of our personality we dont want to face and believe me, I have mine. 

He has never faced this before. Am I wrong in trying to get him to accept this about himself? I know he struggles and I love him and want to do what is best for him, be that leave it alone or support him as he discovers this. 

Any advice will be appreciated.

I do think his autism has negatively impacted huge parts of his life- losing his home and being financially ruined for one as he cannot deal with everyday bills and financial doings. In the same sentence he is also a brilliant person with an extraordinary mind. While I am ordinary, he is extra- ordinary and I celebrate this, but I dont want him to suffer in certain parts of his life anymore.

What do I do? I am moving things on slowly and talking to him, but I wanted t get some feedback from the wider community in regards to how to approach the subject with him.

I am a teacher and am trained in SEN. I have lived with him for 2 years and can see various behaviours which point me towards autism.

Thank you for reading this and if you can help, I will be very grateful.

Jane.

Parents

  • Your care for him is very evident, but beyond pointing out the possibility there is nothing you can do.

    Some of us find in our diagnosis the answers to all our questions ever and find that life affirming. Others are saddened and struggle to accept what they see as a defect, they just want to be "normal" whatever that means.

    But we each must get there on our own in order to make use of that fact about ourselves.

    All you can do is quietly treat him 'as if'. Navigate your relationship assuming he won't know what you want unless you tell him, taking on the organisational and financial tasks for him. Supporting him if he he misjudged the social situations around him. Advocating for him when necessary.

Reply

  • Your care for him is very evident, but beyond pointing out the possibility there is nothing you can do.

    Some of us find in our diagnosis the answers to all our questions ever and find that life affirming. Others are saddened and struggle to accept what they see as a defect, they just want to be "normal" whatever that means.

    But we each must get there on our own in order to make use of that fact about ourselves.

    All you can do is quietly treat him 'as if'. Navigate your relationship assuming he won't know what you want unless you tell him, taking on the organisational and financial tasks for him. Supporting him if he he misjudged the social situations around him. Advocating for him when necessary.

Children
No Data