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Advice on relationships with someone with autism

Nerdylittlething

Hey guys!

so my partner recently got diagnosed with autism, and I’m finding it really hard with him at the moment, we’ve been together 5 years next month, I support him in all ways possible, but I’m tired of people saying he’s lucky to have me, because the pressure to be supportive all the time is stressing me out, so when I want to talk to him as my partner about my issues he can’t help me, I feel so down and alone

i don’t want to leave him, but I feel like I’m losing my sanity sometimes 

any advice at all?

Parents

  • Your partner is recently diagnosed. Me too. Depending on the circumstances which led to the diagnosis, this may take some time. Your partner has some journey to go yet. But it will get better. The more we understand ourselves, the better we understand those around us.

    The question is do you love him and do you want to stick with it. The other responders are right. You need to balance your needs with your partner's for number one. Make time for you.

    For number two, there can be a point where your partner can attend to your needs also. Just because we're autistic and can't always read what we are supposed to do for those we love, does not mean that we do not love with as much passion or do not want to respond. You'd both need to be prepared to negotiate a means of communicating need and catering to that. Some of us do well when need is explicitly verbally expressed, but only the two of you will know how to work that out.

    I hope in the end you will be lucky to have eachother x

Reply

  • Your partner is recently diagnosed. Me too. Depending on the circumstances which led to the diagnosis, this may take some time. Your partner has some journey to go yet. But it will get better. The more we understand ourselves, the better we understand those around us.

    The question is do you love him and do you want to stick with it. The other responders are right. You need to balance your needs with your partner's for number one. Make time for you.

    For number two, there can be a point where your partner can attend to your needs also. Just because we're autistic and can't always read what we are supposed to do for those we love, does not mean that we do not love with as much passion or do not want to respond. You'd both need to be prepared to negotiate a means of communicating need and catering to that. Some of us do well when need is explicitly verbally expressed, but only the two of you will know how to work that out.

    I hope in the end you will be lucky to have eachother x

Children