feeling like my mental health is stopping me living my life. I had to miss uni again today because i feel like im going insane. People misunderstand me constantly and im misunderstanding them. I still don't know if people are messing with me or not but im actually scared that im losing my grip on reality. im doubting everything i see, read and hear.
Im missing a workshop that looks to be one off on theatre makeup which is something i was excited to do. Im sick of this.
warning (sui*ide reference)
I've started having those thoughts again because i feel so cut off. It doesn't matter how i rephrase my words, people just don't get what i'm saying so most of my time, im just silent. We are supposed to be going places together at uni but everyone just makes plans in their little groups and i hear nothing of it until its already happened. Parties and dinners and im just sitting there silently because i know even if i speak, they won't understand me, like im speaking a different language. I feel like theres little point in life when i cant communicate with people.