overthinking impact of my diagnosis

I wonder if you haven't been given too much nebulous neurotypical 'wisdom'. In my experience, it creates more confusion because the problem is never addressed, just still misfiring under a misdiagnosis and redirecting of energy (in this case, anxiety). 

I really believe - from what I've found, is the main difference between NT and AS is how the brian is wired to perceive and experience and communicate. From that, we don't use language the same, thus pragmatics are important rather than what something 'means'. And since we don't use language in the same ways, there exist errors in how others hear us. 

Do you over-think? Or do others not really put much thought into their reality because they don't have to. I started recognising that my brain wanted to process, wanted to calculate, wanted to think. So I put it to use. I found something incredibly interesting and will exhaust my thought-processing when I need to because I am hyper-analytical. The only rule I follow is to analyse things not people (my own way of recollecting not to be too judge-y). While I analyse groups or group-think or behaviours as a matter of safety or vigilance, I try to be mindful that over-thinking is a NT code which signals a feeling a being judged and tried as guilty because this is how they compete. 

To be honest, I really don't quite understand masking or faking a thing. Camouflage is useful at times. Pretending will get us through a moment. Call it acting. Call it improv. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be kind and also- feelings follow actions. So small bits of etiquette when I can remember make me happy. They seem to make the world a little bit nicer. And there's nothing wrong with that. But from what I've read, most NTs are not authentic and not interested in their authentic selves. 

How much time have you spent in a sort of self discovery? Have you tried working through The Artists Way? What small things make you happy? Have you taken time to explore things you like? I sometimes think if we spend a little time every day allowing our inner self (whether you feel 5 or 17 or ancient and reincarnated), give in! Do one thing that gives you joy. I bought clay yesterday and made halloween horns. And then just played with it for hours. I should've been working but work will always be there. No one else will steal time for you, this is a kind of selfishness that makes the world better because it grounds the self and then I feel I have something to give. 

You’re right about the small things that give joy. Out of curiosity, I’ve just downloaded The Artist’s Way, I’m going to start reading it today.

You’re right about the small things that give joy. Out of curiosity, I’ve just downloaded The Artist’s Way, I’m going to start reading it today.