Anyone else have difficulties with "being yourself" in social situations?
It's seems to be something that comes easily and naturally to most other people (NTs), whether it's just knowing the right kind of things to say and talk about, or just simply how to be or how to act.
I often seem to get into difficulties with this and it causes me anxiety. Either I can be excessively self conscious and socially anxious, or I can appear to come across at the other extreme sometimes if I over compensate in some way I don't quite understand, either appearing arrogant or something along those lines.
I've been coming across things about "difficulties knowing how to act in social situations" as part of my researching into symptoms of being on the spectrum.
Does anybody else know what I am talking about and have any tips or experiences?
On the one hand, I feel that it would be easy just to completely give up on putting myself in social situations that I find difficult and problematic. But on the other hand I do think that I might eventually be able to figure things out to some extent, along self-awareness lines, and to improve the way I come across.
I have signed up for a local singles pool league (as in the cue sport). I imagine that I'm going to find it difficult and awkward socially, especially at first. But am hoping that it will get easier as hopefully the anxiety subsides and the weeks go by, hopefully I will learn / remember strategies and ways of acting. I used to do this sort of thing many years ago when I was more confident in my younger years. I enjoy cue sports and am potentially good at them, but at the moment am struggling with the social aspect even in terms of solo practice before the league starts, as this means having to hang out in a public place (the pool and snooker club) to do this.
A part of the whole self diagnosing with being on the spectrum thing, is wanting to come to understand how to deal with issues that come up in my life, issues like this. On one hand, maybe I could simply just say to myself something like "Oh it's likely that I am on the spectrum therefore this problem is likely to be one of the symptoms of this, and there's not much I can do about it" or on the other hand, I could say to myself something like "yes these difficulties could well be due to being on the spectrum but I believe that I can develop self awareness and behaviours to help overcome these difficulties (at least to some extent)"
It's already very clear which approach is going to be more adaptive and helpful, rather than just being fatalistic and defeatist.
I believe that forcing myself to expand my socialising it will lead to improvement in other areas of my life, such as helping to improve my relationships with colleagues at work. Providing I manage to maintain a positive approach to the difficulties I am bound to encounter.
