Published on 12, July, 2020
I go through a lot of intense anxiety, as well as depression, and generally I'll be worrying to death about things I know I don't need to worry about it, or which I should put aside for now and deal with later. People have always told me I should be able to do this - choose to worry about something later, or dismiss worries from my mind - but this seems utterly impossible to me.
Is this part of the obsessive way an autistic mind works? I know I obsess over mundane things too which don't cause me anxiety but which I feel compelled to do, and also I get pleasure from obsessing over certain interests. Do we just have to accept this worry as part of the obsessiveness?
I also wonder,and can kind of see after something which happened today, that my perseveration or anxiety or rumination etc can also stem from trying to work things out which others can do more intuitively. So again, it feeds into uncertainty but I think the root cause could be to do with AS and not fully understanding a situation.
out_of_step said:but I think the root cause could be to do with AS and not fully understanding a situation.
Just wanted to contribute to this in particular, because I know for sure my own discomfort/anxiety in any situation directly correlates to the number of unknowns. I mean, typing it out it sounds obvious, but it's still just such a major part of it, and the tangible ease that follows finding out certain things. I have, at the same time as this, figured out that I have always enjoyed figuring out connections and systems (and things that now make more sense through the lens of autism) and wonder if they are both part of the same needs of my mind.
I identify with this. I feel like I'm conspicuously slow thinking, but at the same time I'm intelligent enough to enjoy literature and art and other pursuits I'm sure people who are sharper than me don't seem to care about.