Published on 12, July, 2020
So, today, is a crying day for me. For no reason at all, I feel tearful. I can carry on with my daily stuff, but at intervals, I stop and have a good weep. I guess it's depression and anxiety, but I wonder if it's to do with my autistic brain rather than classic depression. I feel alone and lonely, unlovable, unloved and unloving. This makes me even more prone to tears. I'm not suicidal. I never want to take my own life. I love being alive. It might be that I am overwhelmed by emotions from the previous day or thoughts and emotions about an upcoming event, and maybe this is my way of releasing tension.
**update**Since posting, I've found some useful information about a possible explanation. "Autistic people who have trouble identifying their emotions, a condition known as alexithymia, are likely to have anxiety, depression and problems with social communication, according to a new study. Roughly half of autistic people experience alexithymia, which translates to ‘no words for emotions’ and is characterised by difficulties with identifying and describing one’s own feelings." This is more complicated than it seems. It doesn't mean that I don't have a vocabulary for my emotions, for me, at least, it's about not paying proper attention to my internal emotional states until they are too strong to ignore, and then I get confused by the sensations.https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/difficulty-identifying-emotions-linked-to-poor-mental-health-in-autistic-people/I hope this can help someone else too.
This happens to me too more than I would like I was thinking about whether or not it is an autistic thing is it the same for you in that it can last for a few hours or a few days or weeks etc and it comes…
This happens - indulge yourself in it, you'll feel better for a good bawl.
If ever I feel like that, I trigger it with sad songs or films to get the most from it.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.
Thank you, Dawn. I had a lovely day out with family today, a fabulous walk, and visited a little farm with the new family toddler. The sun was glorious and all was well with the world at least for one…
I just found this link its an alexthimia test I got 155 which was high it doesn't take long either
Thanks for the link. K - I'm shocked.
What is high Alexithym I got 139.
I tried the test but do not know what Alexithym is I thought it was the name of the software of an IQ test but it said I have high Alexithym?