I feel so alone

Hi NAS72769, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. You may like to have a look on the Autism Services Directory: http://www.autism.org.uk/directory under 'Groups', for any organisations in your local area that may be able to support you.

Or you may be interested in contacting a local National Autistic Society branch. Our branches offers support to local autistic people and their families. If you interesting in checking if there is a local branch near to you, please follow the link: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/local-branches.

Every branch and group is different some are parent support groups, some provide support and information to autistic adults, while others have office premises and run their own a drop-in service. 

You may also like to contact our Parent to Parent service, which offers emotional support. This service is confidential and run by trained parent volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism. They will be re-opening from 17th May.

You contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Anna Mod

Aye!

Mind might help. They have dedicated autism services and cater to those awaiting diagnosis.

Otherwise, can your GP help?; maybe get you a hurry-up appointment if some one cancels?

Bless you, this must be awful.

I am not sure, how would I find that out? I guess just google??

Thanks for your advice Michael. You are most likely right about most things, I am not just unhappy about having to wait and yes sorry its his assessment we are waiting for. Like you said I guess I will just have to get used to the waiting. It's the hopelessness I feel whilst waiting, I am working with a children's centre in my area over zoom once every 2 weeks but most of the strategies aren't working as my son doesn't understand a lot of the things we try to explain or show him. Although I am very grateful for the help. I think I will take your advice and speak to my GP, see what they say. I just feel like in a year I have gone from a strong woman to a weak one. 

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time! Do you have an autism charity/organisation in your area that you could contact?

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way.

Sometimes, it's not what we think is making us unhappy that is actually making us unhappy. That's just something we blame it on. It might be worth seeing your GP and telling them how you are feeling just in case there are deeper issues going on for you.

When you say you son's referral, do you mean his assessment?  Referrals are made on the same day or within a few days, so I'm not sure why you would have to wait 14 months for one. My referral was made within two days.  The actual assessment, however, can take up to and over a year to come through depending on which part of the country you're living in. I waited about a year and half for mine, in fact by the time it came through, I had forgotten about it.

Remember: you don't have to wait for an assessment to live as if your son has a positive diagnosis. 

This may seem like non-advice, but your unhappiness is not a result of having to wait, it is your thinking about the waiting— not the waiting. This is not what you might want to hear, but even when your son has the assessment, even then, the post-diagnostic support available takes time to set-up and access, so get comfortable with waiting, or you're going to be unhappy  a lot in times to come.

Get on with your life, live in the moment, day to day, and stop thinking about things you have no control over. Learn to accept waiting. As the famous line goes: Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'. It's by no means easy because the modern world trains us to expect everything to happen immediately. That's not real life, though. 

That said, there is no harm in ringing and checking where your son is on the waiting list to get an idea of how much longer it will be before his assessment. In the meantime, if there are any immediate support needs that need addressing for your son, you can find useful information on this site, or contact the appropriate services. 

Also, if you are feeling so badly, I would suggest you get the advice of a mental ill health professional, because people don't feel that bad simply because they are waiting for an assessment.

Much love,

Michael x