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ASD and Self Harm in Teenagers

NAS71097

Hello. I wonder if anyone is going through a similar situation. My teenage daughter has been self harming for around 6 months. We were obviously devastated. We finally got an ASD diagnosis in December but it hasn’t changed anything. She has a therapist who she likes but I can’t see how it’s helping. Her GP won’t medicate without CAHMS approval. CAHMS won’t approve until she has had therapy through them which she is on a long waiting list for. The support for her is slow but we are getting there.

What I am struggling with most is how to deal with her myself on a day to day basis. It feels to me like I have to make a choice to speak to her in an upbeat tone and do fun things together, to lift her mood, but that very much feels as if I am ignoring that fact that when I go to sleep she cuts herself. The other choice is to talk to her about it, but that is impossibly hard because of her ASD. She just can’t communicate about it. It’s like we are living in a parallel universe where she seems fine all day, but harms at night. I cannot make the two worlds join. There is beginning to be an atmosphere in the house which is awful. Has anyone been through a similar experience?

Parents

  • Hi,

    I'm an 18 year old who self harms and has done for several years and has recently been referred for an ASD assessment by my GP after seeking help for it. 

    My parents are aware that I have struggled with self harm in the past and that it is a reoccuring problem but they don't really know the extent of it and don't like to talk about it so I'm coming from a different background but I'm going to tell you what I feel, but do be aware your daughter may be feeling something totally different.

    First off, I promise the therapist is probably helping. Self harm recovery is tough, takes a long time, and is different for everyone. Some people tend to see it like an addiction and that's probably not an innacurate description. It is so good that your daughter has a therapist she likes, because a relationship that is friendly and open will lead to more disclosures and that will help a lot. 

    Secondly, despite the difficulties communicating, you should probably try and open up a dialogue here. Don't make it all the time, and do it in small bursts but it's really important that you understand what she wants you to do. Get her to tell you some things that help and some things that make it worse. Supportive family is so useful when it comes to this kind of recovery.

    Finally, waiting lists suck, and I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I promise it can get better.

Reply

  • Hi,

    I'm an 18 year old who self harms and has done for several years and has recently been referred for an ASD assessment by my GP after seeking help for it. 

    My parents are aware that I have struggled with self harm in the past and that it is a reoccuring problem but they don't really know the extent of it and don't like to talk about it so I'm coming from a different background but I'm going to tell you what I feel, but do be aware your daughter may be feeling something totally different.

    First off, I promise the therapist is probably helping. Self harm recovery is tough, takes a long time, and is different for everyone. Some people tend to see it like an addiction and that's probably not an innacurate description. It is so good that your daughter has a therapist she likes, because a relationship that is friendly and open will lead to more disclosures and that will help a lot. 

    Secondly, despite the difficulties communicating, you should probably try and open up a dialogue here. Don't make it all the time, and do it in small bursts but it's really important that you understand what she wants you to do. Get her to tell you some things that help and some things that make it worse. Supportive family is so useful when it comes to this kind of recovery.

    Finally, waiting lists suck, and I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I promise it can get better.

Children
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