Published on 12, July, 2020
I desperately need advice.
My 28 year old son (Aspergers) has been feeling sad, very low, totally unhappy with himself and every aspect of his life. It culminated a couple of days ago when he told me that he is tired of being 'retarded', that there is no point in life and continuing as he is totally useless in everything, that he has no career, made poor choices and hasn't achieved anything. He says he wants to end it all. No matter what I try and talk to him he keeps repeating how he's feeling - totally irrational. So we are going round in circles. He absolutely refuses to seek any help saying that nobody can help him and the only thing he wants is to be 'normal'. He says he's had enough.
He is very smart, has masters degree, traveled the world, experienced great things.... but is feeling a huge burden. He started his own business a couple of years ago and is having some difficulties in keeping it going (he claims that if he were normal all will be ok).
For two days now he keeps mentioning suicide an ending it all . What can I do? I'm really desperate for any advice. I don't know what to do.
Many people experiencing a mental health problem will speak to friends and family before they speak to a health professional, so the support you offer can be really valuable. This page covers:
If you regularly support someone with a mental health problem you might be considered a carer. See our page on how to cope when supporting someone else for more information.
If someone lets you know that they are experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings, it's common to feel like you don’t know what to do or say – but you don't need any special training to show someone you care about them. Often just being there for someone and doing small things can be really valuable. For example:
I had one friend who helped me by just listening and never judging. Without him my recovery time would have been much longer.
There are lots of practical things you can do to support someone who is ready to seek help. For example:
If you feel that someone you care about is clearly struggling but can't or won't reach out for help, and won't accept any help you offer, it's understandable to feel frustrated, distressed and powerless. But it’s important to accept that they are an individual, and that there are always limits to what you can do to support another person.
If someone is experiencing reality in a very different way from people around them, they may not realise or agree that seeking help could be useful for them. They may be experiencing psychosis, mania, hearing voices or feeling very paranoid. In this case, it can also be helpful to:
There are a lot of misunderstandings about what it means to experience psychosis. Lots of people wrongly think that the word 'psychotic' means 'dangerous'. But it's important to remember that in reality, very few people who experience psychosis ever hurt anyone else. (See our page on stigma and misconceptions for more information.)
There may be times when your friend or family member needs to seek help more urgently, such as if they:
In this case:
If you're not in a situation like this right now, but you're worried someone you care about may experience a mental health crisis in the future, it's a good idea to make a crisis plan with them to work out what steps you will take to help them in an emergency. (See our page on planning for a crisis for more information.)
How does someone get sectioned?
In exceptional circumstances it's possible to keep a person in hospital under a section of the Mental Health Act (often called being sectioned), and treat them without their agreement. The decision to section someone is very serious, and can only be taken by a team of approved mental health professionals (AMHPs).If you feel someone is at serious, immediate risk and will not approach anyone for help, you can contact their local social services, who can decide to arrange an assessment (you can usually find the number for social services on the local council's website).
This is a heavy responsibility, so before taking action it’s important that you understand what might happen, and what your loved one's rights are. It might also be a good idea to talk this through with someone you trust.
(See our legal pages on sectioning and agreeing to treatment for more information).
Supporting someone else can be challenging. Making sure that you look after your own wellbeing can mean that you have the energy, time and distance to help someone else. For example:
For more ideas about how to keep yourself well, see our pages on coping when supporting someone else, improving and maintaining your wellbeing, and managing stress.
I felt suicidal on Saturday night - witching hours of Sunday - after several negative experiences in Belfast.
I talked to a Skype buddy from Toronto, and she helped calm me down.
ALWAYS reach out!
The above information was taken from the MIND website. Maybe phone them for advice tomorrow?