7 year old with ASD, great social skills but no social boundaries help please!

Hi all! We have been advised that our almost 7 year old has come out "above the threshold for ASD" and has recently had a play assessment for which we are awaiting feedback. The reason we have got this far is due to constant problems at school as well as home and extra curricular groups. He causes low level disruption ALL the time when his brain is not actively engaged in a task. Durng a task he is then hard to coax away and move on to something else. I am so confused as although we are positive something is not quite right he is such a sociable boy. He is very charismatic and likes to be center of attention all the time. He doesnt have any close friends and doesn't understand boundaries which makes him socially awkward. He likes to touch people and often says things that are inappropriate. He doesn't show remorse and only shows concern if something reallt quite bad happens, he also doesnt apologise and honestly doesnt seem to understand why he ever should. He is very bright and it often seems as though his brain is not tired, if that makes sense! Is there anyone else out there with children of similar characteristics? Would be great to speak to others that can offer any advice. 

Many Thanks, a concerned and loving Mummy x

  • I have good social skills but have no close friends and I’m socially awkward. I say inappropriate things, I don’t like being one on one with someone but can be like quite the socialite around a group of people but I hate it when any of these people I have been getting on with want to be my friend. I want to hit them with a shovel or something  and I never want to talk to them again. I also like touching certain things and sleep better with heavy blankets. 

  • Hello @Mrskbelll- my 6 year old boy sounds so like how you have described your son here. Our school are in the process of evaluating our son due to his level of disruption in the classroom and his inability to sit still and do what is asked of him. His teacher also believes he has high levels of anxiety, which is causing meltdowns and shouting when he is told off for not doing what is asked of him. What I am struggling with though is the social awkwardness that you are describing above. He is a gorgeous, loving and happy boy, full of energy and enthusiasm for everything but he has no spatial awareness and is very much "in the faces" of other children. We are now finding that the other children don't want to play with him and he is not invited to playdates or parties. He really doesn't understand why, even though we try to explain about personal space etc. I am finding it all so upsetting and wondered how you were getting on. Have you found anything to help your son at all which may also help us please?

    Thankyou, from another concerned and loving Mummy xx

  • Hello Mrskbell- my 6 year old boy sounds so like how you have described your son here. Our school are in the process of evaluating our son due to his level of disruption in the classroom and his inability to sit still and do what is asked of him. His teacher also believes he has high levels of anxiety, which is causing meltdowns and shouting when he is told off for not doing what is asked of him. What I am struggling with though is the social awkwardness that you are describing above. He is a gorgeous, loving and happy boy, full of energy and enthusiasm for everything but he has no spatial awareness and is very much "in the faces" of other children. We are now finding that the other children don't want to play with him and he is not invited to playdates or parties. He really doesn't understand why, even though we try to explain about personal space etc. I am finding it all so upsetting and wondered how you were getting on. Have you found anything to help your son at all which may also help us please?

  • Not yet. I've just done the history interview and waiting on observations. 

  • Apologies it's hard to explain. He will talk to anyone, anytime, has great eye contact, loves telling jokes. His social awkwardness  (as I described it) is because he says things that are inappropriate for a nearly 7 year old and he will touch people he doesn't know when speaking to them. He doesn't understand boundaries so he is extremely full on. I said he doesn't have any close friends by this I mean he has lots of "friends" but is not particularly attached to any friends so wouldn't think to suggest a play date for example.

  • I am confused by the "great social skills" description that doesn't really match the socially awkward and no friends parts of your description?

    There is another current thread http://community.autism.org.uk/f/introduce-yourself/9474/i-think-my-son-has-asperger-so-advice-appreciated that has a lot of similarities to your son.

  • That's interesting, has he been diagnosed yet?

  • Thanks for your reply! We have completed the Connors questionnaire and they said no to ADHD but he defiantly sleeps better with a heavy feather duvet!

  • Hi, my 6 year old sounds similar-ish to your son. Especially the low level disruption aspect! He also likes to be social but struggles to keep up with the social conventions of his friends. His school use social stories with him often and they do have an affect on his behaviour. Twiddle toys and chew buddies helped as well. 

  • Very similar experiences. Start looking into social stories.

    Also don't be afraid to ask the paediatric specialist if there is comorbid ADHD.

    With a high touch rather than a touch averse kid I would try to get the occupational therapy input prioritised because he's seeking sensory input and may benefit from things like weighted blankets and sensory vests