Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 34 year old male with Asperger's syndrome. I've been "officially" diagnosed since I was 19 years old. The "professionals" now think I may have borderline personality disorder. Other than my parents, I have very little to no social interaction. General "life" frightens me. I don't seem to fit in. Anyone else feel the same??
I've looked up a little on bpd and it does seem to fit with myself.
I like being around people with Asperger's syndrome (autism), but I've always feel that there is something that is making me different. If I have bpd as well as Asperger's syndrome, that's good (in a way), but how do I cope, how do I trust people (especially support workers).
I get very paranoid, my mood changes in a flash, I hear voices (I mean actual voices of people I've met, not in a schitzophrenic way), I have trust issues, I don't seem to be able to trust males (which is difficult as the social worker is male), I feel everyone is pointing and laughing at me, I feel I know what people are thinking of me and not in a good way, I feel I am not a nice person and I don't deserve to be happy and not being able to control my bpd?? (if that's what it is) gives me reason to believe I shouldn't be happy.
Life is very tiring and very difficult at present, so I apologise if I don't make much sense.