Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I, and my wife have for some years jokingly commented on my 'autistic traits', but after hearing of some of the symptons of autism and aspergers I began to read more, and gradually came to realise that I really did have many of the traits. I took the 'non-diagnostic' online test a couple of times and scored 35 & 37. Since then I haven't been able to take my mind far away from the topic and keep remembering occurances throughout my life which until now I haven't been able to make sense of, explain why they happened, or why I acted the way I did. Not only do I now have an explanation for them, but realise that whereas I thought I was just a bit different from everyone else, in fact, my mannerisms are common, just not in the community that I live within. Hense my desire to get in touch with this online community, where I'm hoping to find people who actually understand what I'm going through.
I'm a 42yo male. My father has always shown traits, and my young nephew was officially diagnosed on the autistic spectrum a few years ago, so if genes do play their part, it wouldn't be a surprise me having it too.
When I was a child I was cripplingly shy, talked to very few people, and would often much prefer to sit by myself in a world of my own rather than being involved in group activies. Nowadays I am still very aukward meeting and greeting people, and avoid parties when I can. I can often come across as immature and often find myself regretting things I have said.
Please don't think I'm being big headed here, but just trying to make a point... I have a degree and a post-grad qualification, an IQ of around 130, have an imaginative mind, and as a child learnt a musical instrument to grade 8 within 5 years of starting. I find it easy to pick up new skills, whether it's music, computer/website programming, or home DIY. Aside from verbal communication, I believe I have very good common sense; but this where problems start. It can be very frustrating when others around me constantly do what I feel are silly things. I feel I'm a perfectionist in everything I do, and expect it of everyone else. I get annoyed with those around me, and they seem to get annoyed by the way my autism affects them. Tbh, I feel like a cat in a dogs home, looking very similar, but with very different thoughts and desires, forcing myself to bark to fit in with the pack. Maintaining peace and harmony in family relationships and friendships is hard work, for everyone.
Ok... I could go on and on and on but better stop. If you got this far, thank you.
RG
Hi RGV and hi to everyone, i too can see similarities of myself in your life. I also was very shy as a child with very little self confidence and not much self worth.I am 44ysr old now and in my second marriage. I have only been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome 4 yrs ago but only because my wife now saw some behaviour in me that she could,nt quite explain or put her finger on what it was but she knew i was,nt "normal" or NT as it is known as( Neuro-Typical) .I can't say i particulaly like the term "normal" and that now i have a label of being an Aspie. If i'm honest with myself, its taken the last four years to come to terms with the realisation that i have had Aspergers all my life , but at least now i can start to understand why i do what i do and yes i am different. I have read a lot of books about other AS/NT relationship stories , which is what i am in .My wife is NT and i consider myself an extremly lucky man that she is still with me ,she is an amazing woman to put up with what i put her through.As to my mind it is the NT partner that suffers the most in this type of relationship, as i am generally in a world of my own, a world that i thought was normal to everyone until i was diagnosed 4yrs ago.Which is what brings me to this community site, i would be interested to know of anybodywho is in a similar situation who has any other areas of help and support so i can educate myself further to enable me to make my wifes life better and make me a better husband for her, as she deserves, many thanks everyone, i live in hope.