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Hi i need some advice / help . I am desperate

leedslass
over 8 years ago

Hi Folks hoping some other parent has been in the same position as me. I am getting very frustrated with myself for being unable to help my adult child in thier late 20's .  I now believe quite strongly he is on the autistic spectrum. He is isolated, has rigorous routines (I can set my watch by him) and will not detract from them.  Does notcommunicate with all of us, sits in bedroom, gets in to a blind panic when i make him eat at the table on a few occassions, loves words, super intelligent etc etc....but I cannot find a way to get him to come to the docs with me. He will chat and play with our dog...who I actually got because I read that sufferers would 'communicate ' with animals.  I am hoping someone has had this experiance and may be able to help me , offer me guidance or point me to some group who may be able to help.

Oh and he will talk when he is on the phone.!

thanks for reading. 

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi Leedslass

    This is a really difficult situation and I understand your frustration. 

    I would suggest starting the letter you want to write by telling him that you understand he is different. I would tell him that you think this may be because he is on the autistic spectrum, or has aspergers, and that you know that this makes it difficult for him to connect with others and for other people to understand him.

    I would suggest to him that he does a Google search for "AQ test", explaining that this is a respected screening tool which will help him identify whether he is on the autistic spectrum, and let him know

    that if the results confirm that he probably is, that he is not alone. 

    I think it's important for Aspies who are just discovering what they are to remember that their "difference" gives them strengths as well as weaknesses, such as attention to detail, high levels of accuracy, analytical skills and creative minds, so it would be a good idea to bring this to his attention. 

    I would also tell him that there is a lot of advice written by other people who are "different" that can be found on the Internet, and I recommend a book that may help if he is on the autistic spectrum - "a field guide to earthlings - an autistic / asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" (this can be downloaded from Amazon as a kindle book - if he doesn't have an actual kindle device, it can be read via the kindle app for phones, tablets or PCs)

    I would keep the letter quite factual and non emotional, so that he won't get on the defensive.


Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi Leedslass

    This is a really difficult situation and I understand your frustration. 

    I would suggest starting the letter you want to write by telling him that you understand he is different. I would tell him that you think this may be because he is on the autistic spectrum, or has aspergers, and that you know that this makes it difficult for him to connect with others and for other people to understand him.

    I would suggest to him that he does a Google search for "AQ test", explaining that this is a respected screening tool which will help him identify whether he is on the autistic spectrum, and let him know

    that if the results confirm that he probably is, that he is not alone. 

    I think it's important for Aspies who are just discovering what they are to remember that their "difference" gives them strengths as well as weaknesses, such as attention to detail, high levels of accuracy, analytical skills and creative minds, so it would be a good idea to bring this to his attention. 

    I would also tell him that there is a lot of advice written by other people who are "different" that can be found on the Internet, and I recommend a book that may help if he is on the autistic spectrum - "a field guide to earthlings - an autistic / asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" (this can be downloaded from Amazon as a kindle book - if he doesn't have an actual kindle device, it can be read via the kindle app for phones, tablets or PCs)

    I would keep the letter quite factual and non emotional, so that he won't get on the defensive.


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