Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to all members. So interesting to read everyone's personal stories and experiences.
I do not know if I have an autistic child. We have never sought a diagnosis or even talked about it as a couple.
As a result our son is now 16, but I have had a few creeping concerns for about him for about 3 years now. If he does have a problem it's very mild.
He is one of our four children (second eldest) and right from when he was a baby it was always he who I have felt a special bond with. He always appeared the more vulnerable, the more fragile.
I'm not going to go through all of the 'signs' that ring true for him in this first post. There are of course many that don't ring true also. But there are a few difficulties in social situations, a very limited range of interests. He spends most of his time alone in his room, and although not without friends, doesn't appear to make them easily. He is bright enough that he excelled in maths when he was a child, memorised all the worlds flags when he was 5, and used to 'read' childrens books out loud to people when he was 3. He couldn't in fact read, he had just memorised them. Now he isn't interested in anything except football, and will not partake in conversation about anything else at all. He's doing average in school.
Why is he not tested? Because i don't feel confident enough in our position to access good local health services with regards to this type of situation. We live in rural France and the services are a bit basic. Also our command of the language isn't up to the subtleties, impressions and nuances of discussing something like this. French doctors are notorious for throwing pills at every situation, and our GP is a master of the art.
Anyway, big strength to everyone, and a bo=ig hello
Could you read up on some of the solutions that work for autistic people, and suggest them to him without mentioning where they come from? I discovered that I have a problem with Executive Function, that has stopped me doing things I've wanted to do all my life. From reading about the problem, including advice from people like Tony Attwood, I've started doing some things differently, and it works. It's just a different way of doing things, that happens to work for me. It doesn't have an "autistic" label attached to it.
Perhaps you could identify one of his problems, find out some ASD related solutions to it, and have a talk to him about it. Say you've noticed that he has a problem doing that thing, and say you read something somewhere about some different ways to do it. Suggest he tries it, and you'll help, but only if he wants it.