Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there people,
I'm new to all this, so please go easy on me, cheers.
So now thats out of the way, im finding myself stuck for something to say...
I'll tell you what!, I'm just gonna come out with a little about me and what it can be like in my everyday life, then please feel free to let me know what you think.
Okay, I'm the right side of forty and two years ago I went for diagnosis for either aspergers or high functioning autism{depending on your preference}, due to having had a life which has been distressing to say the least. Little clues through out my life have led me down this path, being uncomfortable with crowds, struggling to follow group dicussions and humour, not being comfortable with change and awkwardness with eye contact are to name but a few. Anyhow since then I have tried to follow the advice i was given and slowly but surely am making changes in my life that "seem to fit" with me, and life is improving, so all is good.
I was once asked by a friend if i could describe what its like, so he could try better to understand and i came out with this analogy.
To me living with aspergers is like, living in a goldfish bowl!.
I can see the world around me and hear everything that goes on, but somehow I can't seem to interact or feel a part of the world, like everyone else on the outside can. Its not that i have no part in the world or no usefullness, its just that there always seems to be a invisable barrier between myself and everone else..
Does anyone agree with that?, i would like to know if anyone feels the same way.
Cheers for reading
You phrase it so incredibly well and I can't relate completely! The analogy I always use with people when they ask how it feels to have HFA is I feel like I am living my life behind a piece of glass. I can see the world, I can see all the people in it and all the strange wonderful things they do, but I can't 'get' to the world, I can't interact with the people and I can't fully immerse myself in the world around me because that piece of glass is constantly in the way.
It's very frustrating at times and very very lonely, I have often described myself to my parents as feeling like a ghost at times, just this little thing that floats around in the world (god we have a lot of analogies don't we?!)
On top of this people genuinely confuse me, they utterly baffle me; why do children feel the need to run everywhere? Why do people pass comments on other people that they have never met before? Why do people make jokes or sarcastic comments? Why do people say completely illogical things? Why do people say "let's pretend that..."? Everyday I am astounded by people and I feel like I am learning something new every day, so much so in fact me and my husband joke that I'm constantly having 'human training'!