Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, i'm glad i found ths forum hopefully it will help me with some questions i have. My daughter is 15 and for most of her life she's had problems. Could talk at age 3 couldn't read, write, count or spell her name at the age of 7. Was told at age 9 she has learning difficulties assosicated with her memory but not a formal diagnosis. Well as she's got older her issues are getting so much worse and to cut a long story short i took her to see GP and she was referred to PCAHMS. We were goven some questionaires to fill in and return and yesterday had the scoring results back. She scored 37 out of 50 and was told that she would now be referred to T3 CAHMS. We were also given a questionaire to ask the school to fill in, well today i had that back and they see a completely different person and after putting in their answers online they scored her 18 out of 50. This really concerns me in how can they see someone totally different. This is NOT was she's like in the real world. My question is what happens now with the difference between my answers and their answers to those questions? Will CAHMS tell me there's nothing wrong and seend us on our way? I know a diagnosis doesn't change things BUT it will help put an answer to all what's been happening over the years. Any help will be gratefully recieved. Thankyou in advance. Poppy12345
Hi Shotton, you may be better off starting your own topic on this because your question may get missed as you've asked it in my thread. Sorry i can't help you.
Hi I was wondering if anyone has a child who is at an autism base within mainstream school and wouldn't mind sharing their thoughts/experience. My son will be going to high school next year he has autism, Adhd and mild learning difficulties his catchment school dosent offer a great deal of support and it's been recommended by his primary school he would benefit rom attending a school with an autism base. Thanks
Hi Trogluddite,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, much appreciated. I completely understand what you're saying. Infact my daughter comes home from school everyday exhausted and constantly tells me she feels so tired all the time. Others can see it, my friends and other family but the school believe there's nothing wrong. Very frustrating! I know a diagnosis won't change things but it'll certainly give us an answer to all those years of wondering what the heck is going on. Take care x
Welcome to the forum, poppy.
The difference you see between school/work and home life is very common for those of us on the autistic spectrum (and many other conditions too.) I would hope that the CAMHS team are aware of this, and will judge the results accordingly.
At home, we're around people we love, and who understand us better than most others, so we feel more free to be our "inner" selves, and any autistic traits we have are on the surface where people can see them.
Outside the home, we often expend a great deal of effort trying to wear "normal person" camouflage. To a greater or lesser extent, this helps us to avoid being singled out as the "odd-ball" that our peers might ostracise, mock, or bully. It's a form of "emotional armour", you could say.
One indication that this is the case would be if your daughter seems to be emotionally and/or physically exhausted after her day at school. Wearing our camouflage is extremely tiring. When we get home from school or work and finally take off our "armour", our autistic traits can become very pronounced, as we just don't have any energy left to compensate for them at all.
My personal experience is that "white coats" who are trained to work with autistic people are actually very good as seeing through our "camouflage". I managed to fool most of my peers that I was "normal" until I reached my forties - yet the clinicians were in no doubt about my diagnosis from the moment I walked in the door.
Whatever the CAHMS team decide, you can be assured of a warm welcome here. Talking to other people who have lived the experience will help you and your duaghter to find better coping strategies - and we'll help you out regardless of what the "white coats" have to say.
Best wishes.