Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone. I am 40 and currently undiagnosed with any ASD, but, particularly in the last year or two, after reading reams of information regarding Asperger's/ASDs I genuinely feel that I was born with it, although my memory is a little clouded by the fact that after anaphylaxia I stopped breathing for...I don't know how long, I, nor my parents, were ever told how long to my knowledge, but I believe that I suffered brain damage which has, I think, caused me to display autistic tendencies/behaviours ever since I suffered the anaphylaxia. This has recently been exacerbated by the fact that I have Hydrocephalus, which, my parents tell me, anyway, as I can't remember, has led to me recently(it seems longer to me)developing sensory problems. I find our HDTV incredibly difficult to watch, and, because my parents are now quite old, my mother needs the volume set at a level that I find almost unbearable. This has led to meltdowns and bad behaviour on my part, and I have no doubt that I must drive them insane.
In the intervening years I have become increasingly secluded, have lost friends because of my reactions to how they have behaved, and now I spend most of my time in my house with my parents. After speaking to a sibling yesterday on skype(I have barely spoken to her face to face since I was 17)I have come to realise that I find face to face communication almost impossible now with anyone new, and I have no interest whatsoever in making new friends. I would much rather spend my time on the computer or reading, which I love, and I would consider one of my special interests to be the attainment of general knowledge, and I absolutely love answering questions on quizzes like The Chase.
This is just a little about me, and I look forward to reading any replies I receive.
Thank you all for reading this post.
It was a very distressing time in my life, yes, and, as I mentioned, one of the most difficult things is that my personality seemed to change. I think, along with the fact that I most likely was autistic to a degree, the course my life took since my illness has made my behaviour and how I deal with things worse. At the moment, because I am coming to terms with a great deal, I am probably being a little too self-indulgent, but I think I need to be a little more kind to myself, and give myself a bit of rest from all the stress from my auditory and visual problems at the moment.
It must have been very difficult for you to be diagnosed at 56, I am not sure I could deal with this for that long.
I am not sure, because my mind is so clouded at the moment, but I think my auditory problems have got worse since my mother developed deafness, and now my father is going deaf too, so they are both speaking so much louder now than they used to. I am beginning to wonder if they may both be on the spectrum, also, because they have both seemed quite uncaring towards my problems, at least to me. My father has certainly not been supportive, although he did say the other day that he does think I am on the spectrum, but I think he was just humouring me to stop me talking about it. The next day he said I read too much about it on the internet, and I should stop, but, of course, I am very obsessive about it. I like to understand things, and I hate not knowing about things if I think I need to know about it.
As you said, it is very difficult to diagnose, and my traits could be because of other things, but, the more I think things through, the more it seems to fit how I am, with people, interests, and in other aspects of my life. Thank you very much for conversing with me, once again.