Published on 12, July, 2020
He seemed quite keen to point out that having a "label" won't change anything, but ironically told me he believes my issues are due to Anxiety Disorder.
I don't really know what happens now, I forgot to ask. My anxiety levels are through the roof because a) my train was late and I was worried I'd have to have a confrontation with the surgery staff about being late, and b) I was worried about having to explain all this to a complete stranger.
I wrote a list, the GP read it and asked if I can function normally at home, so I said I can wash myself, cook food and do normal every day things. He seemed to concentrate on that more than what I was trying to explain regarding the social anxiety I have, having few friends, not liking crowded rooms/places, getting angry when plans change at the last minute, the feelings of being different or an outsider I've had for as long as I can remember (I'm 39 now), the fact i socred 41 on the AQ test, that I don't natuarally understand what my partner is upset about, the fact i mimic others behaviour to "appear normal", not liking confromtation of any form (even if I'm in the right), my extremem defensiveness at critisism, lack of sarcasm radar, not liking being teased etc etc.
He said it was up to me but thinks any test will not show any form of Aspergers or Autism. He said he's write a letter but there was a long waiting list, and with that he turned to his computer and said goodbye.
I feel physicaly sick with anxiety
Thanks for that post Classic Codger!
I have had a headache for 2 days now, I don't know if it's stress or what...!
Overnight and today I have been totally questioning myself... am I really Autistic or am I just someone who is below average socially, or just doesn't like certain things that happen to appear on lists of traits that point to Aspergers.
I don't want to waste anyone's time with this, and I would hate to take an appointment away from someone who may need it more than me!
I was walking the puppy first thing this morning and I "met" two other dog walkers who seemed keen to talk, about dogs, about how cold it was etc. Reflecting on those meetings I wish I could have said more, I really wanted to but just couldn't muster any form of conversation! i didn't even ask what their dogs were called... when I'm with my other half, I let her do the talking because she's very outgoing and confident. I seem happy to sit on the fringes, or busy myself making sure our 4 year old doesn't tread in dogs muck out on the field.
If I was drunk I'd yabber for ages, about nothing... that's why I gave it up, because I realised it was masking something. i didn't know what until fairly recently.