Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi new here and looking at getting a diagnosis for aspergers which i am 99% sure i have, i test highly on the tests online i have done and i am struggling a lot with day to day life lately.
I have always been seen as very shy, have no friends and cant strike up conversations with people, i cant say hi to people in passing, i wait until they say hi to me, i know i am probably seen as weird, even with people i know well like my mum and husband i struggle with what to say, i can have in length conversations with people in my head but fail to do so in real life, i am having more and more meltdowns every day, noise gets to me, going to shops is a struggle, feel my mind is just whirring, i like peace and quiet but at the same time want to have friends, i get frustrated easily and take my anger out on my husband, he has said i should see about getting officially diagnosed but not sure what purpose that would have.
Only my husband knows i am on the spectrum, dont see the point in telling anyone else, not even my kids.
Have only just realised in the last year that i am on the spectrum, just thought this was just me, someone who is socially inept and weird, my son was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago and its only after reading up stuff that i realise it describes me so well.
I am in my mid thirties and have never worked, am a stay at home mum and have a lot of stress in my life and finding it harder and harder to deal with this.
Would love to hear from others out there, just feel so alone.
Random. You know what I do? I embrace my oddness. I put in piedestal and sing to it. Make a theater around it. And I just don't care about it. You know what happened? My coworkers accepted me. I don't know what you're working but I am in the care sector and all my coworkers are women. Now we even joke about it - "congratulations, you got yourself a crazy carer". My coleague towards the person I care for. I laugh about it. Before I would get upset but now I just laugh and forget about it.
Infinitypink. I have a friend who was a stay at home mum and got abused the same way. Although, she didn't have ASD. But, I know what you're going through. I can tell you two things: first, you can overcome this. In 10 years it will be a foggy memory. Second, my friend divorced this imbicile and with help from her parents enrolled and finished university. In uni she met a really good guy. So there you have it. If you obsess with the idea you can do it. If you can't by yourself it doesn't mean you should. You can always seek help. And as long as you do something about it you will get somewhere. I should know - 8 years ago I was smoking hash on rooftops cursing at the system, and now I am studying abroad, working as a carer.