Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi new here and looking at getting a diagnosis for aspergers which i am 99% sure i have, i test highly on the tests online i have done and i am struggling a lot with day to day life lately.
I have always been seen as very shy, have no friends and cant strike up conversations with people, i cant say hi to people in passing, i wait until they say hi to me, i know i am probably seen as weird, even with people i know well like my mum and husband i struggle with what to say, i can have in length conversations with people in my head but fail to do so in real life, i am having more and more meltdowns every day, noise gets to me, going to shops is a struggle, feel my mind is just whirring, i like peace and quiet but at the same time want to have friends, i get frustrated easily and take my anger out on my husband, he has said i should see about getting officially diagnosed but not sure what purpose that would have.
Only my husband knows i am on the spectrum, dont see the point in telling anyone else, not even my kids.
Have only just realised in the last year that i am on the spectrum, just thought this was just me, someone who is socially inept and weird, my son was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago and its only after reading up stuff that i realise it describes me so well.
I am in my mid thirties and have never worked, am a stay at home mum and have a lot of stress in my life and finding it harder and harder to deal with this.
Would love to hear from others out there, just feel so alone.
Thanks both of you for the replies, i have felt so alone but see that reading posts on this forum that it is giving me a sense of belongness, so much relates to me, the isolation, having no friends in real life and online, i have tried to have online friends but i always seem to say the wrong things or go too far with what im saying.
I am struggling in my marraige, he is an compulsive liar, he has emotionally been abusive towards me, the latter he has fixed, he is seeing a therapist for help with the lies, it has broken me, i struggle every day and i am not coping at all.
Yes i think i do need this diagnosed, fed up of the frustration, the anger and need help with this, just worried he will use the diagnosis against me in the future, i know i have to start concentrating on me now.
Yes i hide it well but in other ways i feel why cant others see i am on the spectrum, the way i barely speak to people they must know, just want to be happy again