Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a mum of two, 14 year old boy with asperger and a 12 year old boy with stress!
I am new to this ... expressing feeling and thoughts, I've never been on face book.
Most people, even though I'm lucky to very sympathetic friends, they don't really understand - although, they have children and every parent understands what it's like to worry.
(I nearly wrote 'even with perfect children' - but everyone has perfect children - it's just the world around and being able understand them, that's the difference isn't it?)
I know I need others who 'get' the problems without the added questions like: 'why doesn't he talk to the teachers at school?', 'why does he refuse to have his hair cut?', 'why doesn't he leave the house?' - HE JUST DOESN'T!! Worst of all, the looks like you're a soft parent who should just get their act together ... even my husband puts the blame of me for being too soft.
Do you get the feeling that you're the only one who can see a melt down approaching? - to be avoided at all costs - even if the end result is a domestic ... hard on the heart - but no one gets hit and nothing gets broken.
My youngest son always got it first - small, easy target - I've been his body guard all his life - I wasn't very good at the start, but I've learnt along the way. Unfortunately, I felt the only option for a long time was I had to take the blows for him ... not a nice place to be.
We're past the hitting out bit - nearly a year now (touch wood). Occasionallly things get broken - I see them as just that, 'things' - no one got hurt - is that wrong?
I'm not alone am I? R
RosieF said:He's in a mainstream school with an ASC provision - unfortunately he doesn't see that he's in need of any help and refuses to go into the provision. Since the start of the new school year he hasn't been into any lessons, or even school for the last two days - we're trying to work out the problem whether it's just the change from being at home and back into the school routine or, he seems to struggle with crowds and I am worried it might be the thought of being shut in a room with 25-30 other people. The school are being very supportive and have sent some work home and are hopeing to arrange a 1 to 1 in a local library for him to gain trust in someone and gradually bring him back into school.He's a clever boy, so given the facts and the right support I'm very hopeful.
He's in a mainstream school with an ASC provision - unfortunately he doesn't see that he's in need of any help and refuses to go into the provision.
Since the start of the new school year he hasn't been into any lessons, or even school for the last two days - we're trying to work out the problem whether it's just the change from being at home and back into the school routine or, he seems to struggle with crowds and I am worried it might be the thought of being shut in a room with 25-30 other people.
The school are being very supportive and have sent some work home and are hopeing to arrange a 1 to 1 in a local library for him to gain trust in someone and gradually bring him back into school.
He's a clever boy, so given the facts and the right support I'm very hopeful.
My son doesn't like people to know that he has Asperger's, so he doesn't like the idea of going to youth groups or schools specifically for children with autstic spectrum conditions despite wanting to have friends because he's worried about being ridiculed by anyone who sees he goes there. from my observations, by the age of 12, most kids will start feeling peer pressure. My son only started feeling it quite recently. There's no way he'd step foot into an ordinary school setting or a youth group- they are much more terrifying, so I guess the safest option is staying at home. What I'm trying to say is, maybe your son is refusing to go to the special unit because it will stick out like a sore thumb, that he is 'different'. Hopefully, the library lessons will work out. The plan for my son is that he will go to a college that specialises in his chosen field. We've visited the college and the atmosphere is much different from colleges that offer all kinds of subjects. Therefore, over the year, we're working on his portfolio, will do more college visists and get him to meet up with other children with ASD so he is more prepared for that transition. It's not been easy but I think with the right support, children with ASD can do very well.