Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there, I joined as I need some guidance, I love my partner very much who has Aspergers. The only issue I find difficult is that he starts fights with me non stop and takes so much energy to reassure. He is controlling, suspicious and jealous.
Mostly I am patient but 10% of the time I get annoyed as he is so controlling and I find it hard to breathe. (not literally)
His outbursts then become uncontrollable and although he is never ever violent he is emotionally volatile and its impacting my career and health, I am a very social person and my career also requires me to socialise,
90% of the time we are so happy and love each other so much, is there medication that may help him calm down? I dont wish to drug his personality which is ace, he is amazing and so very clever, honest and kind but I am so tired of these patterns.
Can you help?
Thanks
Controlling, suspicious and jealous does not sound good. I don't think this is necesarily an Aspie thing though, and I would be far more concerned about that than someone having tantrums.
It is one thing having a partner who is not sociable, but if he is antisocial but expecting you to stay at home and not have friends, that is completely out of order.
Is he prepared to go for couples counselling with you? (obviously with someone who understands AS). If he genuinely doesn't believe there is anything wrong in the way he is treating you, no amount of medication is going to help.
And if a relationship is affecting your career and health, is it really worth it? Have just re-read that and sorry if it sounds a bit blunt. As you can probably guess, I am single!