Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I live with my partner who has aspergers he was diagnosed almost 2 years ago and he's 30. He hasn't had or been offered any support and althought Iv messaged verious people that shoul be able to help involving autism including the people who diagnosed him iv had no replys or iv had promises of being contacted and still nothing. I just wish there was some help.. Anything. My partner has a community service worker he talks to once a month, she has a son with aspergers... She claims to understand yet tells him he should go to the doctors for depression tablets... An tells him to do things she full well knows he just won't/can't do.. She also said to him I should be able to tell what he's feeling automatically even when he doesn't show it because after you have been around someone with aspergers for so many years you just know- which didn't go down well with him because then he started to be against me. Im not sure if she's right or not prehaps she is... I just dont think she's helping in anyway- I tried to point out that perhaps a mother son connections helps her, but he's still angry at me because now I'm supose to magically know everything. I try and most of the time I know when he is upset or angry. I just feel like I'm being given false advice and it really isn't helping. Is there any help?
Thanks for the comments. I know you mean well but no I am not going to tell my husband he has aspergers. He is a very capable, well educated, inteligent person, he helps many other people with emotional and mental health problems, same as I do. He is also very easily hurt and delicate. I know my decision is right.
If I said to my hubby that he can come on this forum and chat to intelligent pepole he would laugh. He would say well I chat to you and my friends and my colleagues and you are all very inteligent. Why would I waste my time in a forum of strangers? If I told him the forum was about aspergers he would see it as a total waste of time. I have given a lot of thought to this situation, it is me that has to live with my decision and me that is not willing to risk hurting him and changing the dynamics of the relationship.
Most men want sex often and regularly, my guy can want it today and then wait till next year. That is not normal, not unless you have an issue such as aspergers.
And yes he has aspergers. I did not list all of the things that led me to that diagnosis but they are there. His brother also has it. It often runs in families.
I also love knowledge, but I find it is best to go to the source that knows best. A professional. I cannot understand when amateurs pretend they know as much when they are guessing or going by themselves or taking unnecessary risks.
My hubby is fascinated by classic cars, he is alwsays reading about them talking about them and tinkering with them. If he had more spare time he would go on forums about that, nothing else.