Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, my name is Michael i'm a 29 year old male. I'm not diagnosed with any form of autism but over the last couple of years i have been wondering more and more if i am. I was wondering if there was anyone else who came to realise that they were suffering from a form of autism later in life and if they could help or tell me how they came to realise.
My whole life i have struggled with social interactions and have always kept to myself. When i was younger i struggled in school and was always in the lower classes suffering with dyslexia. I was ambidextrous up until high school, when i was forced to choose one hand to write with as my handwriting was so bad.
I have always excelled in the arts, being a musician and loving to draw. Later in life i acheived a first class degree in audio production and now i am studying a masters in sound design at a film school in the uk.
Lately i have been suffering from social anxiety and really struggling to interact and it has become more obvious as my course relies heavily on socialising with many other departments. I'm having regular panic attacks and find myself being unable communicate in groups.
I tend to keep to myself most of the time although i really want to interact with others more. I have alway known something was not right as i have struggled to keep relationships in the past and never had a long term relationship. I also struggle to keep in contact with friends and have lost many friends over the years due to this. I only have a handful of close friends that i have kept in contact with over the years.
I guess i have always known soemthing is wrong but i've always ignored it. It's only lately as it seems to be effecting my career that i feel i need to face whatever the issue is head on. The more i read about autism and the symptoms the more i feel i may be suffering from a form of it.
If anyone who is or has been in a similar situation later in life can share their experiences or help with what steps i should take next, i would be really greatful.
Thank You
Michael
No i have recently moved to do a masters and i haven't registered with a GP yet. I haven't been to see a GP since i was 18. The last time i went to see a GP it was to do with my anxiety and depression issues and it was kind of laughed off by the GP and i lost all confidence in sharing any of my issues with anyone. So i have since tried to just deal with my personal issues myself.
This mainly involves just ignoring them. I go through good and bad periods. When i'm good, i am 100% detirmined and driven, to the point of obsession, as i said i got a 1st class degree and got accepted into one of the world best film schools and ran a marathon last year but then when i'm bad i can't stand to be around anyone.
There was a period towards the end of last year that i didn't leave my bedroom or house for a pariod of 5 months and for a lot of the time i physically couldn't get out of bed.
You said you suspected that you had ASD before you went to the doctor, did you just go to an appointment one day and bring it up? I'm affriad of being dismissed if i just bring it up after not being to see a GP after so many years.