Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, my name is Michael i'm a 29 year old male. I'm not diagnosed with any form of autism but over the last couple of years i have been wondering more and more if i am. I was wondering if there was anyone else who came to realise that they were suffering from a form of autism later in life and if they could help or tell me how they came to realise.
My whole life i have struggled with social interactions and have always kept to myself. When i was younger i struggled in school and was always in the lower classes suffering with dyslexia. I was ambidextrous up until high school, when i was forced to choose one hand to write with as my handwriting was so bad.
I have always excelled in the arts, being a musician and loving to draw. Later in life i acheived a first class degree in audio production and now i am studying a masters in sound design at a film school in the uk.
Lately i have been suffering from social anxiety and really struggling to interact and it has become more obvious as my course relies heavily on socialising with many other departments. I'm having regular panic attacks and find myself being unable communicate in groups.
I tend to keep to myself most of the time although i really want to interact with others more. I have alway known something was not right as i have struggled to keep relationships in the past and never had a long term relationship. I also struggle to keep in contact with friends and have lost many friends over the years due to this. I only have a handful of close friends that i have kept in contact with over the years.
I guess i have always known soemthing is wrong but i've always ignored it. It's only lately as it seems to be effecting my career that i feel i need to face whatever the issue is head on. The more i read about autism and the symptoms the more i feel i may be suffering from a form of it.
If anyone who is or has been in a similar situation later in life can share their experiences or help with what steps i should take next, i would be really greatful.
Thank You
Michael
That score doesn't leave much room for doubt! You are in the right place now as there is lots of advice in this forum. People can have severe problems with much lower scores or they can have very few problems with a high score. It affects people differently and peoples upbringing is very important too. Your anxiety is likely to be linked to ASD and it may be that you can deal with this better in the knowledge that ASD is a root cause. Have you discussed your anxieties with your GP?
I get a similar score and managed for 56 years thinking I was normal but have run into conflicts over the years and had to get a diagnosis last year as things reached a crisis. There are pros and cons with getting a diagnosis - I suspected it before I went to the doctor but when I got the diagnosis it was like a weight lifted from me as I didn't believe my own suspicion properly until then.
If you do get a diagnosis then you can get some "training" for living with the condition or other assistance depending on where you live - some areas have autism support centres that provide specific support