Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All
As my user name suggests I am a frustrated dad with a son who has just turned 5 and have been told he has ASD by the paediatrician but have to wait up to a year to get an official diagnosis.
This is just the start of my frustrations,anger,sadness for my beautiful little boy.
My frustration is having to wait so long before he can get any help (although he did get to see a speech therapist for the first time today).
My anger at my in laws for passing this gene on (his uncle and first cousin both have it but don't seem to care) I can't talk to my wife about my feelings about this as she gets all defensive and I am left to bottle up my anger.
And my sadness that my little boy probably won't grow up to live the normal life that others take for granted.
His uncle as mentioned above is 22 had never had a job ,a girlfriend or any sort of life whatsoever he just stays indoors 24/7 doing absolutely nothing, my fear that my son's life will mirror his uncles fills me with nothing but sadness,dread and fear for his future years.
My son is glued to my side and at times it feels like I am a single parent as he only wants to do everything with me and not my wife which upsets her immensely and no matter how hard we try for him to interact more with his mum he's just not interested.
Appologies for the ramble but it just seems as I'm the dad I should be strong, aloof almost and on the outside I am but on the inside it's turmoil and my frustration is about to burst
No, you are not wrong for feeling like this.
You are worried about your son and want the best for him. The best for him is now that he is on the ASD Spectrum, you can help him to obtain the best help so he might make something of his life. Each and everyone is different even when it in the family. You are right to feel angry at times. I myself was diagnosed last year and feel very angry about if it only been years ago, but then from what people tell me and I know myself, years ago, outlook was different. Outlook is better for us today. Your wife will handle it her own way.
you are lucky your son is 'glued to your side' though you both want to be involved. Some seek comfort from objects or non human and therefore pushing you both out as I gues would feel. I wish I could say something intelligable here to give you both hope. I can't. It nothing personal to her really. Something about you he has been drawn to. Don't try to force anything though I think that might be harder for him and in time he might 'go off' you and attach to your wife and it be the other way round and you feeling immensly hurt by that. As someone as only last year as an adult, who been diagnosed with autism and have other health issues. I think the only thing I can reassure here is that I hardly share anything with my family. I don't hate them. Just don't share anything good or bad particulary. Best thing about being diagnosed as an adult and getting given the autism awareness card I was able to nominate someone outside my family though never used the card.
Wish I could offer better tips than no, you are not wrong to feel like this, it natural from reading about it and from my own feelings having been only diagnosed last year and do feel angry.