Published on 12, July, 2020
hi all, ive recently discovered the world of autism due to my son having Problems at school. ( last year or so) He has been diagnosed with selective mutism but not autism. This has made me question my own problems and history.
im 32 with two children. I have a history of anxiety and have always struggled socially. I am wondering if my problems are autism related rather then anxiety and how do I tell the difference? I scored 39 on the AQ test. I do not have any close Friends. I struggle with new places and people. I always dread family occasions etc. now my sons are both at school I also struggle with interacting with teachers/ parents. I try and stay positive but so far I have not managed to make mum friends. I feel as though I have missed something constantly.. Plus if i ever get into a conversation I find it difficulty to know what to say / when to say it. Is this just anxiety ? I sometimes say things that I think I should say because I've learnt over the years stock phrases if you like.
Any advice much appreciated. I'm not sure i could visit my GP about this but it is becoming increasingly difficult day to day. I'm also worried about thr impact this will have on my children because they are getting older and are going to realise that mum doesn't have friends / talk a lot to people. Thanks
Welcome to the community
It is very common for people to discover that they are autistic after a lifetime of anxiety and other disorders. Your story sounds very typical and I would suspect that you would get a diagnosis if you need one (I managed 56 years without a diagnosis but ended up in a bad place mentally/work-wise and I was then diagnosed)
Autism is often inherited and it sounds as though your son may be affected, perhaps your parents were different too in some way to average folk? I have a suspicion that we also end up with non-average partners too.
I had suspicions before I was diagnosed and I read a book by Valerie Gaus www.amazon.co.uk/.../1606236342 . This gave me some very positive messages and the hope that it is possible to cope very well with Aspergers/HFA. It also gives some practical strategies and things to do to overcome your problems. My last year, since diagnosis, has been much better with less stress/anxiety/depression./confrontation with the NT world. Asperger's is a problem but it is a problem that can be overcome and it is a puzzle that can be solved in lots of ways. It can't be cured but it can be understood and dealt with day to day.
If you want to know more about the syndrome then Tony Attwoods complete guide to Aspergers is a comrpehensive and readable description - very good for understanding the common behaviours.