advice help needed someone please

Hi I am mum to a 19 year old autistic adhd child but more body and mind like 8-10 year old and play ages of 4-5 year old she as just been diagnosed with epilepsy to. 

She always wants her own way and keeps ontill she gets it if we are in a car and she wants a wee she expects to go right then if tell her to wait she will start crying ect. 

She is also disruptive if she knows we are going on a day out or something she don't want to do then she will play up have a melt down so we can't do it 

also her Melt downs are really bad crying screaming swearing wishing me dead very rude and saying dirty things Also she will punch her nose until it bleeds 

Also obsessed with the dead 

Also unless we give her what she wants to do ie her ds she will keep in till she gets it 

is is this normal