Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm the Dad of a 14 year-old boy who has been referred to CAMHS for a diagnosis. It all started a year ago when we were on holiday and an education specialist talked to us and suggested he needed a diagnosis. I went away to read about Asperger's on here and found it described my son exactly.
We'd always thought of our son as just being 'him' - quiet, struggling socially, physically awkward and extremely interested in a particular hobby. He never showed any emotions and didn't understand humour. Apart from the odd outburst he was just quiet, studious but lonely.
Having had an episode at home I printed off the list of character traits, having first removed any names/titles. He ticked the lot!
We went to the GP, discussed it with him and he sent a referral to CAMHS - who sent it straight back saying they needed an educational psychologist referral and wouldn't acccept his. To say he wasn't happy was an understatement; he's a senior GP who is nationally respected!
However ... to the school we went. My son's at a selective grammar in West Yorkshire who were initially hesitant but since then have been great. He had an educational psychologist assessment in July, which the school wanted to do then to cover his GCSE's. The Asperger's diagnosis result has helped the school and him. Then we were back through the (vindicated) GP and off to CAMHS. We're at that point now ... waiting, although we've just completed the initial questionnaire.
He's coming to terms with it and one of his first comments was "it's OK, I'm not strange". He spent a long time, unbeknown to us, reading about Asperger's and did a self-diagnosis test.
As first he didn't want to meet anyone else with Asperger's or Autism. However, a year on from the process starting and he's starting to ask whether he could meet others with Asperger's.
Does this happen at all?
Oh, and thanks for reading my lengthy speil. As a family we're learning but we all need to develop strategies to help him, and he needs to himself. Where we think he also needs help is in developing hobbies/interests where he socialises; currently it's just Minecraft and his cats. Some idea of the type of hobbies which would interest a 14-15 year-old boy with Asperger's would be great!
Firstly, it sounds like you are doing all the right things, and he is in the best educational environment possible.
If he spends a lot of time in sedentary actitivities, I would try to encourage some kind of fitness regime, perhaps a martial art, weight training, or yoga. All would help build confidence as well as improve physical health.
I also have several friends (undiagnosed but very Aspie) who are into orienteering and long distance running. The school may have after school classes, or maybe these activities are something you could do with him?