Hello
I'm a 41 year old man. My wife was late diagnosed with autism a couple of years ago. We have two sons - our 11 year old was diagnosed at 3 and has complex autism while our 9 year old is also on the diagnosis pathway.
I have suspected for a few years that I may be neurodivergent. However, I function well, am generally good at interacting socially and don't have many if any outwardly visible struggles. I do find I am exhausted all the time, interacting feels like an effort and I am always conscious of my body language, facial expression, tone of voice etc in an effort to make sure I come across 'correctly' to others. I feel like I am masking but I'm more worried there's something less identifably wrong with me. I worry I'm genuinely broken.
I've completed online versions of the AQ, AQ-10. RAADS-R and CAT-Q and they all suggest that I'm firmly within the range typical of people with autism.
I'd like to pursue a diagnosis but I'm afraid. I'm scared that I'm just making this up and wasting time and money.
The worst part is my Wife doesn't believe me. When I first told her I suspected I may have autism / ADHD or both, she simply said 'no you don't' and the conversation stopped there. When I raised it again and tried to express how that had upset me, she said 'do you want to have autism!?' very aggressively before challenging me to waste £2000 on an assessment.
I don't know how to proceed when my Wife, who is pretty much my only friend as well, refuses to acknowledge it let alone support me.
What can I do?
S
