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Recently diagnosed

J0nny

Hi to anyone who may read this. My name is Jonny,  This will probably be an introduction you’ve heard many times before so I apologise if you’ve heard it all before . I was diagnosed with Autism on Monday this week I’m 43 years old.

It has been a total shock I’m also currently in the middle of an adhd assessment I will get my diagnosis 12th November. My life has been dogged for many many many years with severe anxiety and depression, that I’ve now been told has probably had a lot to do with the autism and potentially adhd and because I have become an absolute professional at masking. I’ve prided myself all of my life in being able to get up and work. That is until 5 months ago when I have ended up having a massive breakdown my mind and body finally gave up. 

I’ve spent all of my adult life being treated for anxiety and depression but 5 months ago in a very very dark place I paid to have a full psychiatric assessment, this is when I was told about autism and adhd concerns,it was a massive shock and I’ll be honest I didn’t even know what either thing meant or was really. Then I tentatively started exploring and looking into them and it was like an explosion in my mind of so many things I was relating to that I just thought were me. I quickly became very overwhelmed and stopped. 


I’m aware it’s very early from the diagnosis but I feel like I’m grieving for my life that has been. I feel very lost and alone but most of all I feel very sad wondering if my life could’ve been different. One slightly more positive thing is I think it has given my mum some much needed answers too she has been with me through the assessments so far and has really began to understand why I am the way I am, I think she has found relief from it that there are now answers.
if anyone read all of this thank you for your time. 

Parents

  • Hi Jonny, welcome to the community. It's good that your mother supported you during the process. Being treated for anxiety and depression for years is a very common experience here, also mine. I hate hearing "just depression" and nothing changes. I'm in the middle of my own autism diagnostic process, I was told I don't show any signs of adhd. I hope you find this place supportive and enjoy being here. 

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Thank you, I think with me there is quite a lot of crossover with the two things but I won’t hear a diagnosis for the adhd until 12th November. I’m still struggling with it all to be honest it’s been a shock and been quite quick to. 
    I am 43 and have had serious issues with things forever, but just been told I’m a depressive person and personality which never helps I found medication I take and counselling has never helped 5 months ago I reached the end and I completely broke down in every way, I’m not far off being housebound, it’s been very difficult. 
    thank you for your message. 

  • in reply to J0nny

    The "just depression" makes me angry, because these psychiatrists don't even try to understand why you have this "just depression" and keep prescribing meds, that don't help. It's like treating a decaying tooth with painkillers. The 12.11 is also the day of my final answer- autism yes/no. 

    I also wonder, that there is so much fuss about the autism/adhd overdiagnosis but noone talks about depression overdiagnosis. It's simple- depression treatment is just a pill- more pills prescribed- more money for the big pharmacy, but for autism and adhd there are also additional services, accommodations and maybe more people gonna apply for benefits. So politicians try their best to prevent more people from getting these diagnoses. It has nothing to do with helping people or caring about them. It's money.

Reply
  • in reply to J0nny

    The "just depression" makes me angry, because these psychiatrists don't even try to understand why you have this "just depression" and keep prescribing meds, that don't help. It's like treating a decaying tooth with painkillers. The 12.11 is also the day of my final answer- autism yes/no. 

    I also wonder, that there is so much fuss about the autism/adhd overdiagnosis but noone talks about depression overdiagnosis. It's simple- depression treatment is just a pill- more pills prescribed- more money for the big pharmacy, but for autism and adhd there are also additional services, accommodations and maybe more people gonna apply for benefits. So politicians try their best to prevent more people from getting these diagnoses. It has nothing to do with helping people or caring about them. It's money.

Children
  • in reply to J0nny

    My story is similar to yours. In my case my teachers in primary school (mid nineties) told my mom they think that im autistic (so my behaviour must have been very much different than typical and it was) but my mom dismissed that. And ignored all my struggles, gaslit me many times. This time, two years ago, when I entered the therapist room I was sure, I would hear "just depression". But it hit me like s hammer when he gave me on my next appointment a paper where it was written anxiety and autism. In fact i was suspecting autism already but didnt shate it with him or anyone because i was too ashamed and afraid of not being taken seriously. Then he explained to me that the autism is his suspicion. Then I have a psychiatrist, sticking with her, who said, she agrees, but didn't see any point in getting diagnosed as there is no help for me. I always concentrate on the issues I have and let the doctor diagnose, what it is instead of trying to convince the medical that I have this or that condition. It's been two years of my therapy. I have it again the next Monday.

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    So for me it was a psychiatrist who was the one who told me that, autism and adhd is what it probably was, and that it had been missed for many many years. It was my GP who had pigeon holed me into the depression and anxiety my GP was also/is very very dismissive of what I’d been told by the psychiatrist. I felt he didn’t even want to refer me for assessments but did in the advice of the psychiatrist. 
    One thing that I’ve found very hard to get my head around is the fact for many many years I’ve been prescribed anti depressants several different varieties all high dosage, and had multiple variations of talking therapies, anger management CBT etc I’ve done it all but one thing has always been a constant that nothing really seems to help. This alone should have been a red flag. 
    the psychiatrist I saw picked up on things from a 45 min pre assessment I had with a nurse and already new when I met him face to face that showed signs of autism and adhd. Now having had assessments we have realised this all began in my very early years and primary school I’m now 43 that I what I’m really really struggling with.