Hi to anyone who may read this. My name is Jonny, This will probably be an introduction you’ve heard many times before so I apologise if you’ve heard it all before . I was diagnosed with Autism on Monday this week I’m 43 years old.
It has been a total shock I’m also currently in the middle of an adhd assessment I will get my diagnosis 12th November. My life has been dogged for many many many years with severe anxiety and depression, that I’ve now been told has probably had a lot to do with the autism and potentially adhd and because I have become an absolute professional at masking. I’ve prided myself all of my life in being able to get up and work. That is until 5 months ago when I have ended up having a massive breakdown my mind and body finally gave up.
I’ve spent all of my adult life being treated for anxiety and depression but 5 months ago in a very very dark place I paid to have a full psychiatric assessment, this is when I was told about autism and adhd concerns,it was a massive shock and I’ll be honest I didn’t even know what either thing meant or was really. Then I tentatively started exploring and looking into them and it was like an explosion in my mind of so many things I was relating to that I just thought were me. I quickly became very overwhelmed and stopped.
I’m aware it’s very early from the diagnosis but I feel like I’m grieving for my life that has been. I feel very lost and alone but most of all I feel very sad wondering if my life could’ve been different. One slightly more positive thing is I think it has given my mum some much needed answers too she has been with me through the assessments so far and has really began to understand why I am the way I am, I think she has found relief from it that there are now answers.
if anyone read all of this thank you for your time.
