Late diagnosis in early 20s

Hi and welcome!

Like Oscar, I'm in my early 70s and diagnosed recently. I'm still coming to terms with it, too. I live alone and envy you for having a loving family and partner. Regretfully, you may not have much assistance from the NHS but you'll get a lot from this cvommunity. Take a look at the NAS's advice and gudance section, especially after diagnosis.

Hi Alexa,

thank you for writing to me, I hope you find comfort and peace in being alone it can get quite busy and loud in this family. Thank you, I’m glad I’ve found this community as I feel very seen and grateful that there are others too! 

May I ask, how do you find comfort, peace or happiness in being alone? I’ve never really been alone and I don’t know how to feel okay with it. I usually have to be with someone or have music or a movie on in the back ground to help with the silence. I find that nature helps but the fear of going out wins the battle some times :( 

thank you for the suggestion I’ll have a look into it x

I wasn't really alone until about 7 years ago. Even then, I was busy with writing, which I've done for the last 25 years. I listen to a lot of podcasts, some only on in the background. I have friends, although I don't get the chance to see them as much as I'd like. I really should do a lot more walking for my health, but I often find it difficult to leave the house, so I understand your fear of going out. At your age, I did a LOT of reading and listening to music. I can't do it so much now due to age-related ailments, unfortunately. And I've had an online life four over 20 years, talking to friends across the world.

I like being alone, but I'm in a different situation from you. Being alone for me, for the first time in my life in my own place is a delight in terms of being able to arrange my home the way it suits me rather than having to work around my partner's ways of doing things. Being diagnosed autistic really helped me in terms of shedding unhelpful social put-downs - you know the sort of things, such as "you're being selfish" or all the shoulds and oughts that might apply to most people but may be things that autism just can't do.

I hope you find therapy useful. I've tried it several times in my life and found therapists range from OK to brilliant. 

Music, podcasts, reading and relaxing sounds have been my main activity when I’m alone. I have found comfort in that. I’ll carry on with all of those. My best friend lives in Sheffield so sometimes we talk sometimes we are both busy or struggling so it’s hard for us to communicate sometimes but I know she’s there, she calls me at odd hours in the day when she finishes work at 11pm or later. She’s been my only constant over the past few years and I’m glad I have her. As for writing I’m enjoying speaking and listening to people on here, it’s been very helpful and insightful. 

im glad you’ve found a sense of just being you and doing the things you like with no worries. I hope i get that soon. It will take time I know and im one of the most impatient people on the planet but im learning. 

me to I hope it helps. Ones in the past have been brilliant I hope I get another like it! 

Music, podcasts, reading and relaxing sounds have been my main activity when I’m alone. I have found comfort in that. I’ll carry on with all of those. My best friend lives in Sheffield so sometimes we talk sometimes we are both busy or struggling so it’s hard for us to communicate sometimes but I know she’s there, she calls me at odd hours in the day when she finishes work at 11pm or later. She’s been my only constant over the past few years and I’m glad I have her. As for writing I’m enjoying speaking and listening to people on here, it’s been very helpful and insightful. 

im glad you’ve found a sense of just being you and doing the things you like with no worries. I hope i get that soon. It will take time I know and im one of the most impatient people on the planet but im learning. 

me to I hope it helps. Ones in the past have been brilliant I hope I get another like it!