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Social Motivation

Alexander1976
  1. Hi, I'm Alexander, late diagnosed autistic (and adhd combined - its interesting lol). 
  2. As I approach 50 years old I've reflected, in depth obviously lol, on social motivation. I have always been socially motivated. What do I mean by this ? I have always had a strong desire to have friends , and belong to a social group. Unfortunately, my hardware, and software, aren't really set up for it. This means I get a burst of energy (thanks adhd) to start doing something socially. I meet people, start making friendships/friendly acquaintances. This often lasts for maybe a year to 2 years. Then something happens and it all goes wrong. Attempting to work it out, fox it, rationalise it, becomes extremely challenging & exhausting. So I just drift away and lost contact with the people. I then go through a social burnout period that can last as long as the time engaging with others. 
  3. Does this gel with any off you ? What can we do about it ? Or is it just about managing expectations? 
Parents

  • Hi 

    I totally get this, I have AuDHD too. I think the ADHD drives the need to be around people and socialise, but sometimes my autism prevents me from engaging in everything that I would like to and I feel hopelessly behind in lots of social situations, either I don't understand conversations or by the time I've processed what's being said the conversation has moved on which doesn't instil confidence moving forward. Maybe meeting with in person autistic groups is the only way froward, at least it's a level playing field. It is all very exhausting though I agree, it's a very fine balance but it sounds like you have the skills to make friendships and it is a two way gate so its not all on you to keep things going.Blush

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  • Hi 

    I totally get this, I have AuDHD too. I think the ADHD drives the need to be around people and socialise, but sometimes my autism prevents me from engaging in everything that I would like to and I feel hopelessly behind in lots of social situations, either I don't understand conversations or by the time I've processed what's being said the conversation has moved on which doesn't instil confidence moving forward. Maybe meeting with in person autistic groups is the only way froward, at least it's a level playing field. It is all very exhausting though I agree, it's a very fine balance but it sounds like you have the skills to make friendships and it is a two way gate so its not all on you to keep things going.Blush

Children