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Lone carer and dont know what to do

Reynolds

Hi, i am a lone carer of my 26yr old autistic/adhd son. He struggles severely with changes in routine, things out of his control, and seeing things from others point of view to name but a few issues.

I am now in a situation where I dont know how to handle it. My daughter has told me she is pregnant with her long time partner. He is in a very low paid apprenticeship and she had one year of uni left. I have said they can stay at our home whilst they finish their education, so I can also support them. Well, my son has gone into a very bad meltdown about it. He wont see any reasoning, logic. Just sees how his life will change, how angry and disappointed he is with his sister and says he just wants to punch a wall. (He isn't violent, just says this to express how angry he feels).

I dont know how to handle this, because he says we are forcing him to move out when he isn't ready (alotof emotional guilt i am now feeling).

Can anyone offer any advice, I feel so alone with trying to support both.

  •   I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It is an awful situation to be in to basically have to make a choice between your two children - you will have to forgive me, being autistic, I do not gift wrap.

    Added to this is the huge question about what we do to look after our autistic children when they become adults. And on top of that, how we manage all of this as a single parent, when the other parent is not supporting the situation.

    I think also many of us, autistic or not, are the 'Sandwich Generation' with huge caring responsibilities. When in our generation, we would be able to support ourselves financially and not be faced with the situation of the next generation being expolited with apprenticship wages and internships. 

    I'm afraid I do not have the solution to your question. I am so sorry that you feel alone. You are one of the many National Treasures that keep us autistic people safe, support us to live our best lives and always have our corner. Get all the help you can get, because you can't achieve the impossible. 

    And congratulations on becoming a grandparent. xx