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Lone carer and dont know what to do

Reynolds

Hi, i am a lone carer of my 26yr old autistic/adhd son. He struggles severely with changes in routine, things out of his control, and seeing things from others point of view to name but a few issues.

I am now in a situation where I dont know how to handle it. My daughter has told me she is pregnant with her long time partner. He is in a very low paid apprenticeship and she had one year of uni left. I have said they can stay at our home whilst they finish their education, so I can also support them. Well, my son has gone into a very bad meltdown about it. He wont see any reasoning, logic. Just sees how his life will change, how angry and disappointed he is with his sister and says he just wants to punch a wall. (He isn't violent, just says this to express how angry he feels).

I dont know how to handle this, because he says we are forcing him to move out when he isn't ready (alotof emotional guilt i am now feeling).

Can anyone offer any advice, I feel so alone with trying to support both.

Parents

  • Hello Reynolds.

    I can only imagine how tricky things must be in this situation, knowing how to proceed in such a way that all persons can be comfortable with - it’s showing that you truly are a very caring person despite the difficulty encountered, you do not deserve to feel alone in this.

    While I know that our community will have some fantastic advice, I would like to offer suggestions as to resources that may be of use:



    The support of carers is highly important, the NAS offer a range of advice and aid - Support available for carers in England

    Balancing your son's need for routine with life changes sounds difficult to offer, I wonder if the following advice may be of help - Preference for order, predictability or routine

    Furthermore, it may be helpful to note that the NAS facilitate a parent to parent support line, that may be of use - Parent to Parent Emotional Support Helpline


    I wish the best for you in finding a way to resolve matters.

    Thanks - Mod Zac.

Reply

  • Hello Reynolds.

    I can only imagine how tricky things must be in this situation, knowing how to proceed in such a way that all persons can be comfortable with - it’s showing that you truly are a very caring person despite the difficulty encountered, you do not deserve to feel alone in this.

    While I know that our community will have some fantastic advice, I would like to offer suggestions as to resources that may be of use:



    The support of carers is highly important, the NAS offer a range of advice and aid - Support available for carers in England

    Balancing your son's need for routine with life changes sounds difficult to offer, I wonder if the following advice may be of help - Preference for order, predictability or routine

    Furthermore, it may be helpful to note that the NAS facilitate a parent to parent support line, that may be of use - Parent to Parent Emotional Support Helpline


    I wish the best for you in finding a way to resolve matters.

    Thanks - Mod Zac.

Children
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